


We Deserved A Better Ending, My Love

by narutophobia



Category: Naruto
Genre: 19 year olds drinking alcohol (im not from the US it's legal here sorry), Fluff, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Reincarnation, Smut, Soulmates, Tags Will DEFINITELY Be Added, everyone is alive ayyyy, except for some people (third hokage stay down), if 'we should've never given the sns bitches access to poetry' was a fic, this is so self indulgent, very introspective
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:21:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 30,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29191461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narutophobia/pseuds/narutophobia
Summary: Ever since Naruto was little, he has been plagued by memories from a life that was not his own.And then he sees Sasuke.
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 61
Kudos: 133





	1. When We Met in My Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what's up sns fandom make some noise!!!! 
> 
> *realises it's probably only me left* ok .
> 
> so this fic was created out of PURE self-indulgence bcos i just feel like there isn't enough reincarnation sns stuff considering their canonically soulmates? like what's up with that? so i did this. for me. 
> 
> so this fic has 10 chapters that i've outlined and i'm on chapter 4 at the moment. This first chapter is short but the rest of them are quite long, so brace yourself!
> 
> anyways w/o further ado.....

**One: When We Met in My Memories**

_“Till death do us part,_

_they say._

_I say,_

_I will love you till this life to the next._

_And if next life won’t grace me with you,_

_I will still love you till the next one,_

_and the next, and the next,_

_Till death finally give up on us.”_

-Cynthia Go

History had always been, by far, Naruto’s best subject at school.

By all means, he wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed — honestly, check his report card and try to tell him differently — but history was the one subject that he never had a problem with.

They were sitting in Asuma-sensei’s classroom again. Naruto felt himself staring out the window, balancing his pencil between his nose and lips. Rain drizzled down from the grey sky, flooding their school’s playground. The soft _pat_ of the rain against the window calmed him slightly. Winter had arrived slowly this year. Weather reports of promising snowfall and icy roads were, as usual, a lie. The days were content with promising inclement mornings and gelid evenings. 

Naruto had chosen to block Asuma-sensei’s words out. He knew what Asuma-sensei was going to say, anyway. Like he always did.

He was rambling on about something to do with the economics of their world at the time that resulted in the Second Shinobi Great War. Naruto couldn’t help but huff quietly to himself. War was something that was common back in the olden days. Scriptures demonstrating the horrors of what this world went through were little to none, but they were still remnants. Most of the scrolls had been destroyed, leaving a lot of historical events up for debate. 

A lot of people conjectured that whatever historical documents _were_ still laying around are heavily exaggerated, and Naruto couldn’t blame them. Stories of humans being able to control different elements using their chakra, summoning animal familiars, illusionary techniques — they all seemed like something out of a superhero comic.

Like the others, Naruto would have thought it was fake, too. There was no living proof of any of these things being plausible. Kiba had always kicked up a fuss whenever Asuma-sensei mentioned anything like that. Judging by Asuma-sensei’s awkward excuses, it’s clear that he didn’t trust their history textbooks, either. Despite teaching the damn subject.

Naruto felt himself release a small sigh that he had been holding in.

Most of his memories were foggy, but they _were_ there.

Memories of a village hidden underneath the underbrush of trees that Naruto couldn’t even _fathom_ now. Large rocks with faces — _his face_ — meticulously carved in plagued his mind as his memories remembered three distinct birthmarks on his cheeks. Naruto subconsciously brushed his right cheek. _Nothing._ As always.

One thing that Naruto couldn’t push out of his mind was that small, cramped apartment he had lived in for as long as he could remember. Instant ramen, dirty dishes, built-up mould and a permanent chill that always seemed to have hung in the air was as familiar to him as the back of his hand. The jeering villagers with their stares of contempt didn’t calm his nerves, either.

There was only one thing that had calmed his nerves. A sense of familiarity. A lake where the sun had set on it, covered in scarlet and orange hues. On the pier, there was a young boy with dark eyes that spoke a thousand words.

It frustrated him to no end. Why did nobody else remember?

Naruto let out another frustrated sigh. He let his fists curl up into his spiky blond hair and tugged on it slightly. 

If his memories weren’t so _real,_ Naruto might have thought that he was going crazy.

“Are my classes boring you, Uzumaki?”

Naruto instantly jolted up at the mere mention of his name, pushing away any straying thoughts. Lingering eyes from his classmates stared at him unabashedly, following their teacher’s gaze.

Naruto felt himself grin. “No, Asuma-sensei.”

“Then pay attention or you might lose those good marks of yours,” he said stiffly.

“Right, Asuma-sensei,” Naruto felt himself saying. “Sorry.”

His apology lacked any real conviction. Naruto knew that he would get the marks.

* * *

“You’ve gotta be cheating, Naruto!” Kiba insisted. “There’s _no way_ you get good marks in history when you never study!”

Naruto shrugged him off, giving the barista the money for his drink. “I’m just good at history.”

“Bull- _shit,”_ he said. “You get better marks than _Ino.”_

Ino was the smartest person in their year group.

That title _should_ have gone to Shikamaru, but that boy was far too lazy to keep up his consistent marks. When Shikamaru tried — which was _rarely_ — he always obliterated Ino and the rest of their grade.

“Then maybe she should study mo—”

Before he could finish that statement, a harsh _flick_ to the back of his head stopped him in his tracks as he let out a small yelp. Naruto felt his hand quickly jump to the back of his neck in protest, shooting the offender a dirty look.

 _“Ow,”_ he whined pointedly.

“I don’t want _you_ lecturing me on studying habits,” Ino snapped with no bite. “Your math grades are _terrible._ ”

“Oh yeah, because I’m sure that surds are gonna be the difference between life and death for me,” he grumbled, taking his drink from the barista. 

“Maybe you should start studying more Naruto,” came Sakura’s voice from beside Ino. “Your grades are starting to slip again.”

A tumultuous feeling welled up in his chest, as it always did when he saw Sakura. Her seafoam-green eyes shone as brightly as they did back then. Her pink hair was much longer than it was in his memories.

Naruto couldn’t remember why the Sakura in his memories had even cut her hair. All he remembered was a looming, dark forest with trees higher than his eyes could see. There was no sun, or no sky.

Naruto shook that feeling off. It wasn’t as if lingering on those thoughts would help him anyway.

“My math grade is _perfectly_ fine,” he lied. “Maybe you should focus on your physics grade before you lecture me.”

“Listen, there’s always _one_ science that you’re not gonna be good at,” Sakura said defensively. “My chemistry and biology grades are the top of the class.”

The smell of dirt and rubble. Surrounding dead bodies. A figure ominously staring at Naruto mid-air. A bed of sand. Sakura’s crying face as Naruto felt a sharp pain in the left side of his body. His life draining out of him like water from a tap. The feeling of a hand wrapped around his heart. _Thank you, thank you, thank you._

“You should become a doctor,” he supplied weakly. “You’ve got the grades for it.”

Sakura hummed as she settled herself into one of the booths. “But it’s so competitive.”

“You could definitely do it, Sakura,” said Ino. “You’re one of the smartest girls I know.”

Sakura’s cheeks flushed a light crimson at Ino’s praise. Judging by her incoherent spluttering, Naruto assumed that she was embarrassed by the sudden appraisal. _Cute,_ Naruto thought to himself. There was a time that Naruto had remembered liking her, and chasing her down relentlessly. At one point, there was nothing more than he wanted other than the idea of living a happy life with her.

Not in this lifetime, of course.

The four of them fell into an easy conversation about nothing that was important. Gossip about people Naruto didn’t remember in his memories, current events, and some influencers who Ino and Sakura liked getting into some controversy filled their conversation. Sometimes it was nice just to forget about everything and chat about pointless crap that he didn’t care about. Sometimes Naruto wished that he didn’t have some of those memories from his past life. Whilst most of them were covered in an intense fog, Naruto felt _pain_ pang in his chest.

One time, Naruto had cried when he saw Asuma-sensei’s three-year-old daughter (Mirai: Naruto had never spoken to Asuma about his daughter, but he knew her name and remembered her red eyes like Kurenai’s and her strong sense of responsibility like her father’s, and _oh Asuma she’s going to crush so many girls’ hearts like she used to,_ and oh my god how did Naruto even remember that—) and his wife pick him up from work. Watching Asuma pick her up and spin her around as he looked at his daughter like she could do no wrong made something in him crumble. Their previous world had been so cruel, and Naruto had barely realised the depth of that statement.

 _I’m so glad,_ he had thought to himself as he watched Kurenai laugh at the interaction between the two of them. She hadn’t smiled like that since Asuma-sensei was killed. He hadn’t even realised he was crying until Shikamaru and Choji burst out laughing in the middle of the corridor.

Kiba didn’t let it go for weeks.

Too consumed in their conversation and his thoughts, Naruto didn’t notice the door to the coffee shop opening. Not even the small chime of the bell made it to his ears.

It was funny, really. Naruto mindlessly turned his gaze to his left-hand side. Not for any particular reason.

And he felt like he had been punched in the gut.

Standing no more than three feet away from him was a boy wearing a school uniform that wasn’t familiar to him. Dark hair and even darker eyes swarmed his vision. The boy’s back was turned away from Naruto, which made everything even weirder because Naruto just _knew_ what the boy’s face looked like.

Images of that same lake coated in a beautiful sunset suddenly came back into his mind. Sitting far away from him. If Naruto just went down the side of the riverbank, maybe they could have been friends. Maybe that clawing loneliness that constantly ate away at him would finally disappear.

_No. It definitely would._

Naruto didn’t know why he had been so stubborn. Things would have turned out differently if he had just walked down to the side of the riverbank.

The boy had turned around.

And Naruto knew his face. Naruto _knew_ that he would know his face.

Those dark eyes were unmistakable. He remembered them painstakingly well. Naruto remembered them on fire at one point and then oscillating in different shades of purple in the next. Memories of those same dark, intense eyes staring at him in an office he once knew all too well that was always filled to the brim with too much paperwork came all flooding back to him. He stupidly remembered needles covering the boy’s whole body as he stood right in front of Naruto, bleeding out.

_Why did you give up on your dream for me? Why did your body move on its own? Why?_

The distinct, sharp _crack_ of lightning. The screaming of his name. A legacy that was far too heavy a burden for any sixteen-year-old to bear. Tears leaking out of those dark eyes — _please don’t cry my heart breaks when you cry_ — as Naruto had felt the rubble digging into the grooves of his aching back. Heat escaping his right arm as he felt himself bleeding out on the battlefield. The sunset slowly rising in front of him. Remembering how he thought that that would be the last sunset that he would ever see as he could feel his life slowly ebb away.

_Sakura’s seafoam-green eyes determinedly repeating: not today._

_"When that time comes,"_

A heartful laughter echoed throughout his ears. Something painful filled up in Naruto’s chest. A mix of relief and annoyance as soon as he heard it. _“I’ve lost.”_

_"I'll bear the burden of your hatred,"_

Naruto remembered thinking: _I would be content if I died here._

_"and die with you."_

_“Don’t make me repeat myself,”_ Naruto remembered saying. “ _Now that I think about it, you’ve always been pretty thick headed too.”_

He remembered looking to his left. Sprawled out next to him was a figure that was so familiar. Naruto remembered seeing a single tear roll down that boy’s face.

 _Funny,_ he thought. _You barely cry. It really breaks my heart when you cry. Why are you crying?_

_“Shut up, usuratonkachi.”_

And then, everything crashed down. 

_Sasuke._

Naruto couldn’t feel himself breathe.

Everything was happening all at once. Memories that he wasn’t ready for were all coming back to him. It was far too much. A whole lifetime was coming back to him in a matter of seconds. His soul felt as if it was being ripped into two and then back together again. Constantly remaking itself and then ripped apart again.

He didn’t even realise that he was out of the coffee shop until he felt his body sitting on the cold pavement. Sakura’s concerned gaze was stuck on him. Ino was trying her best to get Naruto to focus on her. Kiba was on his other side, clearly unsure of what to do.

The whole world was spinning. No matter how much oxygen Naruto took in, there wasn’t enough. It’s like his body was rejecting it. He felt like he was going to die.

His last conscious thought was a weird sense of déjà vu. Instead of the pavement, Naruto remembered being surrounded by a white blanket. The air was cold. He could feel the chilly air on his nose. A red-haired boy stood in front of him, remorse painted in those understanding green eyes.

_"You're going to have to do what needs to be done, as Sasuke's friend."_

And the worst part of it all was, when Naruto came to, he realised he had let Sasuke, once again, slip right through his fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's the first chapter!! im happy i got this expositional part out of the way so you guys kinda have a clue what's going on. 
> 
> i'll try to update every thursday night weekly, but university work is sometimes a bitch. 
> 
> im going off 4 hours sleep so this has not been properly read through, so any constructive criticism is WELCOMED and ENCOURAGED!!
> 
> see u guys next chapter!!<3


	2. When We Met at the Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey chapter two updated!!! 
> 
> university work is so much harder when you're on a 7am-4pm sleeping schedule, so the chapters might be a little bit more spaced out that I anticipated but! they're all planned out and most of them have been written so!
> 
> also i just wanted to thank anyone who left kudos/bookmarked/commented on chapter one! all your feedback and support really inspired me to quickly write more chapters and i can't thank you enough!<3
> 
> this chapter also includes: smut, the handling of pot brownies (not by Naruto bcos he's good and don't do drugs kids), and 19 year olds drinking alcohol. just thought that i would let you know!
> 
> this has not been beta'd, but without further ado:

**Two: When We Met at the Party**

_I recognised you instantly._

_All of our lives flashes through my mind_

_in a split second._

_I felt a pull so strongly towards you that I_

_almost couldn’t stop it_

-J. Sterling

Naruto had slowly come to the realisation that university wasn’t as easy as he thought it would have been. 

When Naruto had initially decided to go to university, he had only done it to ease his mother’s trepidation since it wasn't like Naruto had any idea what he wanted to with his life.

Politics had been his initial vocation. Every kid wanted to become president at _one_ point in their lives. Unlike every other kid, however, Naruto had _actually_ been a president — or the equivalent of one — at one point.

Not that he had very fond memories of it.

Stacks of paperwork piled higher than the rock with his face embellished on it sitting on his desk, the reflection of purple pillows underneath his eyes and early-ageing that he always saw when he glanced in the mirror (because Naruto didn't know why he had grown to hate looking at himself), and the constant fighting with a mini version of himself because of the boy's valid points but _you wouldn’t understand an adult’s duty, Boruto, so stop being a brat._

Sometimes Naruto cringed when he remembered that he had turned into one of the adults that he hated growing up. _You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain._

Remembering those unfond memories quickly made Naruto decide to give up on that dream in this life. Instead, he decided on doing a joint English Literature and History degree. It put his mom off his back, and it was the two subjects that he didn’t mind. Creative writing was something that he had always enjoyed — the face of that old pervert with shaggy, white hair popped into his mind — and history came as easily to him as breathing air.

Not to sound cocky, but he practically _was_ history.

After his exams had finished, Naruto went back home on June 17th.

It was his cousin’s birthday, and he had promised her that he wouldn’t miss it for the world.

In his previous life, Naruto didn’t remember talking to her much. He remembered Sakura healing her, and bringing her back as a prisoner, but other than that they hadn’t had many interactions.

Sometimes, Naruto was happy when people didn’t have their memories. If Karin knew that she was the equivalent to an international terrorist, he wasn’t sure how she would react. Family get-togethers would have been a lot more awkward.

International terrorism was up there, but Naruto remembered letting Orochimaru back into the village after all of the war crimes and atrocities he had committed — not to mention, stealing Sasuke — so who was he to judge? Everybody made mistakes in their previous life. Their world had just been like that. 

Ever since Naruto’s little episode in the coffee shop, he had never seen Sasuke again. Admittedly, Naruto had spent most of his time for two years trying to find him through social media and even going back to that coffee shop a _lot_ more than usual. After his money had been depleted by iced frappes, he decided to stop. It wasn't like Sasuke showed up. Nothing resulted in his social media conquest, either. Either Sasuke had a completely new name, and Naruto was searching for the wrong person, or he didn’t have any social media. Knowing Sasuke’s personality — or remembering his previous one — it was probably the latter. Honestly, social media probably didn’t interest Sasuke at all, and he probably got enough attention from girls without having to post himself all over social media.

Naruto pushed down the bitterness that he felt at that last thought.

Still, googling ‘Sasuke Uchiha’ led to some historical articles so Naruto _knew_ that he wasn’t going off the deep-end — and trust him, there were _plenty_ of times where Naruto thought that was the case. The fact that Sasuke Uchiha _was_ a real person at one point, and the little documentation of him correlated with Naruto’s memories was proof enough.

After their battle in the Valley of the End, it seemed that Sasuke had tried to disappear from all historical records all together.

Naruto leaned back in his chair and let out a slightly bitter laugh. Spending years of his life trying to find Sasuke to no avail was a bitter similarity that he shared with the ‘him’ from his past life. Then again, the same urgency of finding Sasuke wasn’t there as it was last time. It wasn’t as if Orochimaru was going to kill him for his body, or he had been consumed by revenge. 

Or well, he _hoped_ not, at least.

Naruto tapped his fingers against his desk out of worry. Even when Orochimaru had come back to village, Naruto didn’t trust him as far as he could throw him. Yamato seemed to be one of the only people who shared that sentiment. He hoped that Orochimaru hadn’t found Sasuke in this life, at the very least.

It also would be a bonus if Sasuke’s parents were still alive, like Naruto’s.

Naruto felt slightly guilty searching up murder cases that involved a son killing his parents. Whilst he knew that Itachi had basically been groomed into killing his family by Lord Third and Danzo in the previous life, he didn’t want to take any chances. Luckily, no picture of Itachi had popped up, and judging by the fact that he _had_ seen Sasuke in the coffee shop, Naruto assumed that Sasuke _did_ live in Konoha, meaning that he would have heard _something._

Sometimes, Naruto was shocked by what he let slide in his previous life. A part of him was always seeking approval and validation from others, meaning that he never held contempt for the villagers who hated him for no real reason. Not to mention the fact that he had never held a grudge for the Third Hokage after letting his younger self basically rot in that apartment whilst never letting Naruto in on who his parents were or why everybody — undeservingly — hated him.

Now, Naruto knew his self-worth and was not afraid of punching a senior citizen in the face. Meaning that if he ever saw Lord Third’s reincarnation out in the street he would probably not even hesitate.

(He definitely wouldn’t do it. Even in this life Naruto was still far too kind.)

Snapping him out of his thoughts was a soft knock at the door.

“Come in,” he called, spinning around his desk chair to face the door.

Peaking her head around the door was none other than his mother. Naruto couldn’t help but grin when he saw her flowing, red hair and blue eyes peep around the door. Yes, he was a mommy’s boy in this life, _and_ he would have been one in his previous life had certain events not transpired (he thought, looking at their ginger cat called Kurama, curled up comfortably on the bed.)

“I thought you and dad were binge-watching Game of Thrones.”

“Yes, we were but then he got a phone call from work,” she said, sounding a little bit irritated as she made herself comfortable on Naruto’s bed next to Kurama. Their cat let out a soft mewl as he exposed his belly to Kushina, allowing her to rub it. The only person in the house who Kurama seemed to not like was Minato; he seemed to have taken a liking to Naruto and Kushina which led to Kushina taking him in and Minato relenting easily. His father’s hand was covered in scratch marks for weeks.

“What part are you on?”

“Somebody’s getting their dick chopped off I think,” she said with a sigh, as if was the most casual thing in the world.

Naruto shivered at the mere notion of it and wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Gross.”

Kushina’s gaze went from fondly looking at Kurama to Naruto’s screen. “Are you doing university work?”

“I’m just writing a paper on old poetry and their historical and political context,” he explained with a monotone. “I thought that I might as well get it done before Karin’s birthday.”

“Sounds interesting.”

“Only because you don’t have to write a whole paragraph on rhyme and metre,” he said jokingly.

Naruto heard his mother’s weight leave the bed with an audible creak. When her arms wrapped around him, Naruto felt himself relax into her embrace. She smelled like the sun. Warm, bright and everything that Naruto had longed for in his previous life. He let out a shuddering breath a she felt himself sink deeper into her arms.

Even though he had been raised by her for nineteen years, he still felt his body craving to make up all the years that his previous life didn’t get to be with her. Even now, Naruto could barely contain his tears whenever she hugged him. Sometimes he did cry. Kushina never asked why, but held him close. Feeling her heart beating in his chest relaxed him. 

_She’s alive. She’s not going anywhere. You live with her and you’ll never have to go back to that horrible apartment, and you won’t be ostracised by the whole village again because she’s here and she’ll protect you._

“I’m proud of you, y’know,” Kushina said softly, her breath tickling his head.

It was something she always said to him, but Naruto could never quite grow accustomed to it. He longed to hear those words when he became the Seventh Hokage, but they were never from her.

“Thanks, mom,” was all Naruto managed to say. He hated how his voice cracked. The lump in his throat grew bigger and bigger with every second that passed by.

After a few moments, Kushina pulled away. Naruto felt his body lean away with her, but he tried not to make it obvious. For God’s sake. He was nineteen now, and this was getting ridiculous.

The horrible thought of Naruto one day waking up and everything being a lie was always in the back of his mind. Waking up again in that dark apartment which somehow always avoided the sun. Walking down the streets full of adults throwing horrible stares his way and loudly whisper about how nobody wanted him. Cold eyes following his every move, ready to reject him at a moment's notice.

_Cruel._

Kushina softly grabbed Naruto’s face and used her thumbs to stroke along his cheek. Right where the markings on his face used to be.

Her voice was a low whisper now. It was as if she was speaking to herself instead of Naruto. “Sometimes, I feel as if your eyes are a lot older,” she confessed, as if searching for something in them; her eyes were glazed over slightly. “It’s like they’re hiding so much.”

Naruto felt his breath catch in his throat. Glimpses of the way that she looked at him when they had met — _from that one time when she saved him from himself because there was a darkness in him that he couldn’t control and without his mother, Naruto don’t think that he would have been able to_ — mirrored with the way that she was looking at him now.

_Impossible._

The idea of his mother having to remember their past life sickened him. She shouldn't have to remember what she had to go through. As a jinchuriki and as a mother. 

Naruto waved her off. It broke him to do it. “What are you talking about?” he asked with a laugh, twisting his chair around so he could avoid her gaze. “It’s probably just because I’m an adult, now. I wash my socks at university and everything, y'know." 

It seemed like Kushina snapped out of whatever trance she was under. Naruto watched as the cast over her eyes disappeared. “Well, if you wash your socks _there,_ you can start doing it here, too,” she said pointedly, eyeing Naruto’s full washing basket.

Naruto waved her off again. “Sure. I’ll do it in a bit.”

Kushina shook her head. “I do love you, y’know.”

_“Only men who compliment my hair get to hear these precious words from me. Naruto, will you accept them?”_

“I love you too, mom.”

* * *

Karin’s birthday was on the 20th of June. Three days after Naruto came home. Karin said that he could invite his friends, which was a massive relief. She seemed to get on really well with Sakura and Ino; Naruto wondered whether or not they would have been good friends in their previous life. He remembered that Karin helped deliver Sarada, but he didn’t really hear anything about their friendship after that.

Always because he was so busy with work.

Ever since going to university, Naruto had learned that he did enjoy parties. Getting drunk, passing out, awkwardly asking Gaara what happened the next day, waking up with a random girl next to him — those were things that Naruto couldn’t have even _imagined_ doing back in Old Konoha. Carrying on from his previous life, Naruto still didn’t enjoy the taste of alcohol, but his younger self pushed himself forward. 

Naruto wondered why his past self always refused to drink.

Tsunade, maybe?

Or was he maybe afraid of saying something stupid to Hinata, or regurgitating all the thoughts that he had pushed deep down that would _definitely_ lose him the title of Hokage.

“Hey, Naruto!” Karin greeted, obviously not sober. She pulled him in for a tight hug — holy fuck she had gotten stronger — and squeezed him hard enough to cut of his oxygen circulation. “I missed you, man! I can’t believe university took you away from me.”

“Well I came back for your birthday, didn’t I?”

“I still don’t forgive you,” she said with a pout.

“Well, I’ve brought all of my friends and I know that you like _them,_ ” he said, “so please forgive me.”

Whilst Karin excitingly greeted Sakura, Ino, Shikamaru, Kiba and Choji, Naruto noticed that the party was in full swing. Music blared from speakers that Karin’s friends had set up. It wasn’t surprising that Karin’s friends had a good set-up; in her teens she had fallen into the emo group which turned into the punk group which then evolved into the ‘underground grime’ group.

She had went through _a lot_ of phases.

Yes, Naruto _did_ turn up a little bit late, but time management was never his forte. He was on a university sleep schedule, and he usually woke up when it was starting to get dark. Ino and Sakura were _both_ at med school, so they were on the same sleeping schedule, and Choji and Shikamaru were both doing apprenticeships, so Naruto did feel a little bit bad in that sense since they were on a normal sleeping schedule. Kiba was helping out at his family-owned kennel business, so he was presumably on the same schedule as Shikamaru and Choji. Fuck it, though. It was the weekend, and they were all allowed to get drunk and regret everything tomorrow.

Kiba also wasn’t sober. He had come with them, but when Shikamaru went to pick him up he had already been drinking with his sister.

“Is there anywhere I can put this?” he asked, holding up the pack of beers that he brought with him.

“I wouldn’t put it in the kitchen fridge unless you want it to get stolen,” Karin slurred, her eyes looking around the room. “If you want you can put a few in my mini fridge upstairs. They won’t all fit but at least they won’t be gone,” she said with a shrug.

Kiba patted Karin on the head. “Karin, you. are. a. _lifesaver,”_ he exclaimed, grabbing her shoulders.

Naruto rolled his eyes as he saw the way their gazes lingered on each other for a little bit too long. He hoped that they didn’t hook up. Naruto would kick Kiba’s ass.

“Alright,” Naruto said, taking Kiba’s beers. _“I’ll_ put these in Karin’s room. Sakura, can you get me a drink from the kitchen?”

“What do you want?” she asked.

“Surprise me.”

With the way Sakura and Ino’s eyes glinted evilly for a second, Naruto was certain that asking Sakura was a mistake. Asking Shikamaru would have been the safer option. He was too lazy to concoct anything disgusting.

Naruto made his way up the stairs. There were people waiting outside Karin’s bathroom, but nobody seemed to be lingering outside her bedroom. Thank god. From what Naruto had learned about parties whilst staying in the dorms is _never,_ under any circumstance, leave your bedroom unlocked. Luckily, Karin’s friends, and her friends of friends (and her friends of friends of friends) seemed a lot more respectful than random, drunk teenagers. 

Naruto opened her door, letting the light from the corridor flood into the dark room. Karin's room had changed a lot compared to the last time Naruto had seen it. Granted, Karin redecorated her room with different posters every time that he had seen it, but this time it seems she changed most things. She had moved her desk into the corner, all of her rock posters had been taken down and replaced with artists that Naruto didn’t recognise, not to mention the two boys in her bed were definitely not there last time—

_Holy fuck._

“Fuck sake,” one of the boy’s cursed. “Close the fucking door.”

With a small yelp, Naruto used his free hand to cover his eyes. “Fuck. Sorry. Fuck. I’ll leave now—” he spluttered out, trying to close the door behind him, but failing miserably because he had one hand on the beers, the other he was using to cover his eyes. 

“Don’t bother,” the other boy drawled, “we finished anyway. Or, well, _he_ did.”

Naruto stopped dead in his tracks. All of his previous, bumbling thoughts came to a sharp halt as soon as he heard that voice. A voice he had never heard in this life, but he knew _oh-so-well_ and his heart ached.

Surely, it couldn’t be—

“Or maybe you’re just voyeuristic,” the same voice said with amusement laced into his words. “You clearly don’t want to leave.”

Naruto could feel his face burning up. If not for the dim lighting of the room, Naruto was sure that those two boys would be able to see his face lighting up like a Christmas tree. Luckily, Naruto couldn’t see them, and they couldn’t really see him.

“Get out,” the voice said in a demanding tone, but it wasn’t directed at Naruto.

“What? Why?” the other boy questioned.

Naruto could practically hear the boy rolling his eyes. He had been on the end of that tone _so_ many times, but never in this way. Never hearing words like _that._ If Naruto’s face grew any hotter, he was sure that he would pass out.

Even in this life, Sasuke seemed to have that effect on him.

“Because you came in two seconds and now I need to wash my hands.”

Sasuke stood up from the bed with a sigh, walking over to the light switch and flipped it on. Light quickly illuminated the room, making Naruto squint slightly. Adjusting to the bright light seemed a lot more harder when you were trying to hide all of your emotion from the random not-so-stranger in front of you. 

Standing at the light switch was none other than the person he had been looking for over the last few previous years. Ever since he had seen that face in the coffee shop four years ago, that same face had plagued his mind. Haunted every, single waking moment.

_"Becoming Hokage is my dream, but bringing you back is my goal."_

“Sasuke,” he breathed.

Sasuke’s attention snapped towards him. Naruto suddenly felt his mouth go completely dry. His throat burned. In this lifetime, he had never had those eyes look at him. Those eyes that he missed irrevocably. There was no Sharingan or Rinnegan. Just pools of a deep, black intensity that Naruto could see himself drowning in.

And he gladly would.

“Do you know this guy?”

Naruto had never seen the boy in the bed before. Not somebody from their past life. Not a _girl._

Sasuke regarded Naruto coolly one last time before snapping his gaze back to the boy. Irritation was as plain as day on his face. Naruto had a whole lifetime to learn all of Sasuke’s ticks and mannerisms. Reading the enigma that was Sasuke Uchiha was as easy as reading a book at this point.

Naruto’s gaze didn’t leave Sasuke as he watched him grab one of Karin’s tissues from her desk, wiping whatever was on his hand. “I thought I told you to leave.”

Sasuke’s voice was as domineering as Naruto remembered. Even from their academy days, Sasuke had a tone of voice that commanded respect. That was why he was always so popular in his class. Not to mention his looks seemed to garner a lot of attention.

Bitterness climbed in his throat as Naruto remembered that the same things probably happened in this life. Confessions, popularity, _love._

He had always been a dumb, stupid, pretty boy.

Any protest seemed to die on the boy’s lips as Sasuke sent a glare in his direction. Naruto watched as the boy awkwardly put his dick back into his pants and plodding awkwardly out the room. He closed Karin’s door with a soft _click._

And now it was just Naruto & Sasuke.

“Do you know me?” Sasuke questioned in an accusatory tone.

Dread washed over his whole body. There was one thing Naruto was terrified of. One thing that he knew he wouldn’t take well.

Naruto’s memories were so intense. That gut-wrenching feeling of seeing Sasuke cry, or in pain, haunted him. Naruto never wanted to see it again. He remembered all their times together. Wrapping his arms around Sasuke’s shoulders, their accidental first kiss, their accidental _second_ kiss (there seemed to be a pattern), seeing each other’s memories — everything was so intense and bombarded him constantly and the one other person who he knew would understand didn't seem to even _remember._

“Don’t you remember?” he croaked.

Confusion written on his face, Sasuke looked him up and down. “Have we . . . hooked up before?”

“N-no, we haven’t!” he spluttered. “I’m not gay.”

“Shame,” he said offhandedly, making Naruto’s face flare up again. “But it makes sense. I wouldn’t have forgotten you.”

_What was that supposed to mean?_

Sasuke seemed to be amused by the mental gymnastics he was putting Naruto through. The cocky smirk playing on his features seemed to prove it.

_Arrogant bastard._

“Then how do you know my name?” he asked again.

Naruto felt his mind go blank. “What?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “I heard you say my name. Don’t try deny it," he snapped. 

Naruto fumbled over his words for a moment. He also knew Sasuke was far too astute to fall for a dumb lie. But how would Naruto explain: _we were ninjas in a past life even though nobody believes that ninjas really exist and were just fictional documentation. Oh yeah, and we would have laid down our lives for each other in a blink of an eye, just in case you were curious._

Naruto could hear Sasuke mentally tapping his foot, obviously waiting for some kind of explanation. Fair enough. If a stranger knew Naruto’s name — and he had no memories of his past life — he would be pretty cautious too. Not to mention Sasuke was already a wary individual, in the past, and obviously this life too.

But he wasn’t _gay_ in their past life.

Was he?

“Oh, I, uhm,” he started, feeling slightly stupid, “I—uh—heard the guy from before say your name, is all.”

A really shitty lie.

Naruto had never been good at lies. Honesty was the best policy. That was his ninja way.

Or, _was_ his ninja way.

Well, his ninja way was ‘don’t give up’ but the honesty thing was a close second.

Sasuke seemed to scrutinise Naruto for a bit. With the way that his face contorted from annoyance to disbelief, he could tell that Sasuke didn’t believe him.

“Fine.”

Naruto cocked his brow. “Fine?”

“Fine,” Sasuke repeated. “I’ll believe it.”

_You shouldn’t._

“Oh. Okay.”

There was so much Naruto wanted to say to him. He had been slightly caught off guard by walking in on Sasuke with another guy, but other people’s sexualities didn’t phase him. That clawing feeling was probably just because he didn’t _know_ Sasuke was gay.

“Well, since this is kind of awkward, I’m gonna go,” Sasuke announced, walking towards the door. He quickly stopped to ask, “Do I get a name?”

Naruto barely registered what Sasuke was saying at this point. His head was spinning. “A name?”

“You love repeating my words, don’t you?” he said dismissively. “Yes, a name. Since you weirdly know mine.”

“Oh,” he said. “It’s Naruto.”

Sasuke hummed for a moment. “Naruto, huh?”

The way it rolled of Sasuke’s tongue made something flutter in Naruto’s chest. He hadn’t heard Sasuke say it in so long. Whenever they fought, Sasuke would scream it at the top of his lungs. Full of so much emotion that reflected how deeply they felt about each other.

In this life, he said it with a cocky arrogance. It wasn’t the same, but it was _him._

Naruto’s mind then registered that Sasuke was leaving. Something about his retreating back was painful. When Sasuke went to join Orochimaru, he remembered Sasuke’s retreating back. When Sasuke suddenly appeared for the Fourth Great Ninja War, he remembered his back facing Naruto as Sakura healed him. When Sasuke decided to go on his journey of atonement, he watched Sasuke’s back until it was out of view.

Something horrible jolted in Naruto. His whole body growled in protest. _Don’t let him leave again._

Without even thinking, he grabbed Sasuke’s arm. 

Sasuke flinched. Just like before, he hated unnecessary touching. Whenever the girls at the academy freely touched Sasuke, even Naruto could tell that he hated it. At the time, Naruto thought that he was ungrateful. Nobody ever wanted to touch him, or pat him on the head, or give him flowers — how come Sasuke was able to get everything that _he_ wanted?

Sasuke roughly pulled his arm out of Naruto’s grip. “Are you _sure_ you’re not gay?”

“No I’m not!” he said angrily.

“Sure.”

“Why were you up here?” he asked at a last-ditch effort. His brain was overheating.

Sasuke shot him a pointed look. “Well, the plan _was_ to get my dick sucked,” he said bluntly, looking at his nails, “but you made sure that _that_ wasn’t happening.”

An awkward silence passed between the two of them. Sasuke started expectantly at Naruto who was gaping back at him like a dead fish.

Irritation oozed from Sasuke’s voice. “Can I go, now? My friends are waiting for me downstairs.”

Naruto felt his resolve collapsing. This wasn’t how their meeting was supposed to go. It was meant to be like old times. Two halves of the same whole and all that.

Collapsing on him like a pile of bricks was the bitter realisation that he didn’t have a bond with this Sasuke.

In their previous life, they had. Their bond had turned into something that put steel to shame. That made Madara’s powers look infinitesimal in comparison. They bonded over being ostracised by the village. Sasuke Uchiha, whose clan were pushed to the outskirts of the village and subsequently killed, and Naruto Uzumaki, from an extinct clan and was cast out by the village. Both of them were by-products of the leaf village’s shortcomings. Both of them were externalities made from a village who didn’t want to take responsibility.

“Uh, yeah. Sure,” he said in a rough voice, trying to swallow the forming lump in his throat. There was nothing else to say. “Sorry for wasting your time.”

Sasuke didn’t deserve to know the horrors of their previous life. Living in ignorance was the best thing that he could do; Naruto wished he had been granted the same lenience by the universe, but obviously not. Keeping Sasuke there for a bond that they didn’t even share anymore was selfish.

But letting him go for the second time hurt more than anything else.

Naruto went back downstairs after gathering his bearings in Karin’s room. A small cry, two bottles of Kiba’s beer later, he trotted downstairs a little bit tipsy and feeling weirdly better.

His eyes raked the crowd until he saw Ino and Sakura dancing and went over to join them.

“Naruto, where have you _been?_ ” Sakura demanded, her tone a bit slurred.

“I was in Karin’s room,” he answered simply.

“No _shit,_ ” Ino said aggressively. “What were you doing? Watching a movie?”

“Have you got my drink?” he asked, pushing away Ino’s questions. Getting into the topic of reincarnation and the bonds lost through that was something that he didn’t want to particularly get into right now.

Sakura looked down at her hands, and then looked back up at Naruto guiltily. “I think I drank it,” she confessed. “But Shikamaru and everyone else are in the kitchen.”

“You are the worst bartender ever,” Naruto said sarcastically.

Sakura grabbed him around the arms and pulled him in for a kiss on the cheek. Whilst she didn’t have a weirdly crazy man strength from her previous life, Sakura was still oddly strong. Especially considering she had probably never lifted weights in her life. “Love you too!”

Ino made a disgusted noise. “Gross. Get a room!”

“Jealous?” Naruto asked.

Ino scoffed. “Hardly.”

Naruto pulled her in and kissed her on the cheek. They had all been best friends since they were eleven, not to mention Naruto had a whole lifetime to figure out whether he had romantic feelings for any of them or not. The answer was definitely not. They were platonic kisses. Ino and Sakura also knew that.

Judging by the looks they were receiving, not everybody knew that.

Naruto realised that he probably looked like a man-whore.

He excused himself and went to join Shikamaru, Kiba and Choji in the kitchen. They were huddled around the table, loudly laughing about something. Seeing even _Shikamaru_ laugh was rare sight to behold. His lethargic personality had carried onto this life. Laughing was something that was still deemed as too troublesome. Still as lazy and clever as ever.

“Naruto, man! Where’ve you been! We missed you!” Kiba called, ushering him over to the table.

“Your beers are upstairs,” he said with a laugh.

“You are the _man._ ”

“What’re you guys laughing about?”

Choji held up his phone to reveal a youtube video that Naruto recognised.

From his childhood.

“Please tell me you are not watching _Pingu_ at a party,” Naruto said. “Where we are all above the age of seven.”

“Then we’d be lying,” Choji said between chuckles.

Naruto rolled his eyes, but couldn’t fight the smile on his face. Their eyes gave everything away. “What have you guys taken?”

“Karin gave us some brownies and—”

“Of course she did,” Naruto said with a sigh.

Some of the strongest shinobi that Konoha had ever known.

Look at them now.

Brought to their knees by weed brownies. 

Kiba pointed at the three remaining brownies on the side. “Have one!”

“How many have you guys taken?”

“Uh, like two,” Kiba said. “Choji’s had three.”

_Oh my god his friends were going to die._

_Not in the Neji-jumping-in-front-of him kind of way, but they were fucked either way._

_Fly high Choji._

Naruto felt himself cringe slightly. Not too long ago he had a panic attack after doing an edible that Temari had offered to him. Turns out that drugs and past memories were not a terrific combination. One second he was in his room with Gaara who was trying to calm him down, and the next he was flung in front of Pein, with Konoha destroyed, Kakashi-sensei dead, and Granny Tsunade in critical condition.

_“You will never know true pain.”_

_“Dude I am literally freaking out so badly I **cannot** deal with your philosophical bullshit right now. Can we all just stop moving for a second. Please. I am literally going to die my heart is beating so fast. Oh my god Hinata why are you here this is not calming me down at all I told you to stay up there—” _

_Pein looked awfully confused at Naruto’s nonsensical blabbering as he stabbed Hinata with a metal rod._

“I’ll stick to the alcohol, thanks,” he said with a small laugh.

Naruto could see the way their pupils were bulging and knew they were going to start hearing colours in a second and thought it was best to excuse himself.

And so, he grabbed a drink and put a _lot_ more alcohol in it compared to mixer and gulped it down. He needed to forget about those piercing dark eyes.

Getting awfully, shit-faced drunk was not the best way to run from your problems. Many psychologists would have probably advised against it. However, Freud was a bitch and Naruto was nineteen, angry, _and_ was dealing with his own reincarnation problems. Not to toot his own horn but he felt as if his case was unique.

Naruto had lost how many shots he had done. Russian (battery acid) vodka seemed to do that to him after a while. Along with what had transpired tonight, he was also desperately trying to get the bitter taste out of his mouth.

The room was sticky and hot. Sweat streamed down Naruto’s forehead as everybody was dancing to whatever music was playing. Naruto didn’t even know at this point. Everything was happening so fast and in such a blur that it felt like no time had passed. Sakura’s makeup had started to come off around her forehead too, and Ino’s hair was looking crazy. They were all fucked.

“I miss you so much when I’m at university, Naruto!” Ino whined, hooking her arm around his neck. “Why didn’t you go to the same one as us? Why did you move so _faaaar?”_

_Because I needed to find new people and the universe has this shitty way of putting people from a previous life in front of me._

Naruto wrapped his arms around Ino, pulling her into a full-fledged hug. “I miss you when I’m there, too,” he said honestly.

“What about me?” Sakura complained, her voice as slurred as the rest of them.

Ino pulled Sakura in for a hug. “You guys are my _best_ friends.”

“Same,” Sakura agreed happily, raising her glass above her head.

_To think they were all vital in defeating Madara and Obito Uchiha. Their previous life didn’t give them the opportunity to do dumb shit like this. To let them be kids and make mistakes without life-lasting consequences._

Speaking of Uchihas, Naruto’s face scanned the crowd again. Yes, he was _meant_ to be forgetting Sasuke, but he had been borderline obsessed with this guy for years now. It was practically in his genetic makeup at this point.

Even after he had brought Sasuke back to the village, it felt like Sasuke had never came home. Even after dying in his previous life, he was always looking for Sasuke. When Naruto saw him in that coffee shop, his soul ached. It ached to be next to him. His one and only. 

Letting him go in Karin’s bedroom made all of his senses cry out.

_You will regret this._

_Don’t let him leave._

_"H_ _ow can a guy who can’t save one friend become Hokage?"_

_How can a guy who is constantly searching for you be content when you’re not at his side?_

And then Naruto’s eyes met his again.

From across the room, Sasuke stood. Whispering into his ear was a random, different boy who was wrapped all around his body. Just like a snake.

Sasuke seemed to have a thing for getting whisked away by snake-like men.

And from where this snake-like man was whispering into Sasuke’s ear, Sasuke’s attention was focused solely on Naruto. There was a burning passion in his eyes. Most people wouldn’t be able to detect it, but Naruto was different. Sasuke had always been good at hiding his emotions, thoughts and feelings; in this life, he seemed to be _way_ worse at it.

Anger burned up in Naruto’s gut. Why would Sasuke let some weird guy tangle himself around him? Sasuke hated being touched.

With an alcohol-fogged mind, Naruto marched over to the corner where the two of them were standing. Ino and Sakura called after him, but Naruto was too determined about getting that man far away from Sasuke. Had Naruto not been drunk, he might have been able to see the small smirk that creeped onto Sasuke’s lips, or the way that his eyebrows twitched in anticipation.

Sasuke didn’t even have time to protest before Naruto grabbed his wrist and whisked him upstairs. Away from every single weird person who thought that they could do with his body what they liked.

Naruto hadn’t even registered that he had stormed into Karin’s room until he locked the door and leaned his face against it in a sigh.

Locking the door meant that nobody could get Sasuke.

With a shuddering sigh, Naruto willed himself to turn around and make eye contact with Sasuke. Alcohol had made him brave. Much braver than he for their first meeting. Braver than he was when all the memories crashed down on him like a pile of bitterly nostalgic bricks.

Sasuke seemed to not be understanding the turmoil that Naruto’s mind was going through. He pinned him with a sardonic smirk as he crossed his arms together. When they were younger, Sasuke folding his arms was him basically closing himself off from you. _I’m an avenger and I don’t need you._

Partnered with that cocky smirk — that Naruto wanted to wipe right off his face because _fuck you for not remembering me even though it’s not your fault you massive asshole_ — it seemed like Sasuke was giving Naruto a completely different message entirely.

“Is there a reason that you brought me up here?” he asked with a teasing tilt in his voice.

Naruto _knew_ that he needed to cool down. He needed to deal with this when his mind was less muddled from an abundance of alcohol that Karin had been able to get under suspicious circumstances. Just like his younger, genin self, he had acted impulsively. He didn’t think it through and now Sasuke, who was oh-so-perfect, was somehow going to prove him wrong using that sharp logic of his.

Naruto leaned his head against Karin’s bedroom door and closed his eyes. “I can’t deal with this right now, Sasuke.”

Sasuke scoffed. “Deal with _what?_ I wasn’t the one to grab you by the wrist and drag you into a random room.”

“Yes, I know,” Naruto felt himself say.

Nothing seemed real.

And yes. He was well aware that he was acting like a full-blown creep right now.

“Listen, I don’t know what issues you’re going through, but you ruined my first hook-up tonight and you’re ruining my potential second one right now, so if you don’t mind I’m just going to leave—”

Naruto’s eyes snapped open as he felt Sasuke approach. “Back to the guy down _there?”_

“Is there a problem?”

“You could do _way_ better than him!” Naruto argued.

“Oh?” Sasuke said surprisingly, walking closer to (Naruto) the door. Something dangerous told Naruto that he had flipped a switch. “Like who?”

“L-like. . . not _him!”_ Naruto spluttered.

Sasuke was _very_ close to Naruto, now. Not close enough to be touching, but Naruto could smell his breath. It smelled like cherry alcohol. Naruto wrinkled his nose slightly. Not in disgust, but he recalled that Sasuke didn’t enjoy sweet things.

His voice was a lot huskier now. “Then tell me, _Naruto,_ who?”

Naruto was _certain_ that his brain short-circuited. Sasuke’s breath tickled the shell of his ear. He hadn’t even noticed that Sasuke had him pinned against the wall now with his hands keeping Naruto in place. Their bodies were almost touching.

“I . . . I don’t . . .”

His voice was breathless.

“When you said that you weren’t gay,” Sasuke started, his voice lowered into a surreptitious whisper, using his index finger to trace invisible lines across Naruto’s collarbone, “I thought that you were lying.”

Naruto almost choked on his words. “Why?”

“Well, you just seemed a little bit too interested in me to be straight,” he confessed, trailing his finger lower down Naruto’s sternum. “But then I saw you kissing those two girls and thought _‘oh, he must be straight, then’._ ”

“There my,” Naruto could feel his face burning up. Sasuke wasn’t good for his health when he reacted like this. He took a heavy gulp before he finished his sentence, “friends.”

“Do you kiss your friends then, Naruto?”

Memories of the academy’s classroom flashed before his eyes. Naruto being pushed into Sasuke’s lips. Sakura’s angry face. Spitting and spluttering.

“Apparently,” he grumbled with a bitter humour.

Sasuke’s finger trailed past Naruto’s right nipple. It took him a herculean effort to make any noise. Every sense on his body had been dialled to ‘extra sensitive’ suddenly.

Was it because it was Sasuke doing this?

Sasuke let out a small, disappointed whine. Naruto’s eyes almost rolled to the back of his head after hearing it. He finally understood it. When he had argued with Sakura about how much more attractive Sasuke was compared to Sai, he did it out of loyalty to Team Seven. But now, with whatever form of Sasuke was standing in front of him, he finally understood why the whole class back in the academy was all over him.

“You’re hard,” Sasuke whispered, drawing his body closer to Naruto’s. Not close enough where they were touching, much to Naruto’s disappointment. Part of him just wanted to pull Sasuke’s body flush with his.

_Look away, Lord First._

“It’s cuz . . . you keep doing . . . weird things . . .”

“Do you want me to stop?”

The deep rumble of Sasuke’s voice pressed against Naruto’s ear did nothing to cease his confusion. His mind was overwhelmed with sexual desire, and he could barely get his words out. His mental efforts were mostly focusing on not getting even _harder,_ because this was Sasuke, and—

_That doesn’t sound so bad._

“Don’t stop,” Naruto managed to choke out. “Please.”

Naruto felt Sasuke smirk against his ear. _Cocky bastard._ “I hope you’re aware that makes you the smallest bit gay, right?” he said confidently, as if he had subdued a beast.

Naruto didn’t care anymore. He was drunk and horny and nineteen and if he was admitting things right now, in his previous life he had never had good sex. Whenever he would wake up next to some random girl in this life, it just felt as if he were trying to fill a void he had with Hinata from his previous life. Admittedly, the sex in this life was _better._

But it was never this.

Naruto could feel himself going _crazy._

It was almost like when he let himself release Kurama’s chakra back when he was twelve. Just letting something envelop his body and not having to _think_ for once.

Without letting Sasuke get another smug word in, Naruto crashed his lips into his. Fisting one of his hands into Sasuke’s hair, he deepened to kiss as he felt Sasuke’s fingers scraping through his own. Electricity coursed through his veins as Sasuke swiped the bottom of Naruto’s lip to open his mouth, which Naruto was _far_ too eager to oblige.

When Sasuke tugged a little bit harder on Naruto’s hair, Naruto let himself moan into Sasuke’s mouth. The tightness forming in his pants was already demanding attention as he could feel Sasuke’s cock pushing against his own. He groaned when Sasuke pushed his hips forward. The friction that their pants gave them made Naruto hiss through his teeth before Sasuke continued on with the bruising kiss. Naruto realised with a scary realisation wanted to be _devoured_ by Sasuke. Body and soul. 

Naruto was just conscious enough to feel Sasuke’s hands discard from his hair and trailing down to curl around the rim of his shirt. Within a few moments, clothes belonging to the both of them were haphazardly scattered around the room as Sasuke aggressively pushed Naruto onto the bed and climbed on top of him. He didn’t even give Naruto the time to gather any coherent thought as he bit his bottom lip.

_Fuck._

Sasuke was so mesmerising that Naruto could barely fathom how this hadn't happened before. Compared to Hinata, the passion embedded in their kisses put Naruto’s whole marriage to shame.

Naruto wanted to taste every inch of Sasuke’s body. He wanted to see Sasuke squirm beneath him in the utmost pleasure and scream his name the way that he did before. With the way that it slid off his tongue so seductively that it should have been _illegal._

There was only one thing that he could articulate as Sasuke trailed kisses down his neck.

“Fuck, Sasuke,” he panted. _“More.”_

He could _feel_ Sasuke’s smirk as his voice send vibrations through Naruto. “I never expected a straight guy to be so needy.”

The bastard was _loving_ this.

“Are you clean?” Sasuke asked.

Naruto gave a shaky nod.

“Good,” he said with a small sigh, pushing against Naruto’s straining cock. “Me too.”

Naruto wanted to make him _scream._

With that one thought embedded in the back of his head, Naruto felt his hand slip lower and cup his ass, squeezing it tight and forcing Sasuke’s hips to be flush with his. Naruto watched in satisfaction as Sasuke let out a satisfying moan as desire glittered in those dark eyes that Naruto had been searching for this whole lifetime.

Instinctively, Naruto started to move his hips forward, refusing to let Sasuke escape from his grip again. He tried to hold back any moans as he only wanted to hear Sasuke’s. He reached back up to claim Sasuke’s lips and used his tongue to probe his mouth to try and savour that sweet taste of cherry alcohol. The need to claim Sasuke coursed throughout his entire body. Perhaps it was because of never wanting to see Sasuke walk away again, but he needed Sasuke to know that he was _Naruto’s. Mine._ In any way that Sasuke would have him.

Sasuke broke away from the kiss momentarily. He stared down at Naruto with lusty eyes and reddened cheeks; Naruto doubted that he looked any better.

“I take it that I’m bottoming,” he whispered against Naruto’s lips.

“Well, uh, I don’t know how to—”

Sasuke captured Naruto’s lips again, making sure to give his bottom lip a tug. “Yeah, I assumed you never had, moron,” he whispered huskily, pulling down his boxer shorts and reaching over to his trouser to pull out a bottle of lube. “But I wanted to get some at this party, so lucky for you that I came prepared. Both ways.”

Jealousy spiked through Naruto’s entire body. Misplaced jealousy that Naruto _knew_ that he had no right to feel but felt it anyway. The idea of another man even _touching_ Sasuke made his stomach churn.

Without a second thought, Naruto flipped Sasuke over and pushed him further into the bed, pinning his wrists down. Sasuke stared back hungrily as Naruto squirted some of the lube onto his fingers, realising that he had, in fact, never touched another man’s asshole before.

However, even in his previous life Naruto had always _called_ Sasuke an asshole so perhaps this sexual encounter was written in the stars.

_I apologise for what you're about to witness, Sage of six paths._

Naruto let his slick fingers brush against Sasuke’s entrance before running the tips of his fingers in a slow circle before letting one of his fingers slide in. Naruto almost choked when he felt the heat of Sasuke’s ass surrounding his finger and imagined how good it would feel around his cock. He felt himself let out a small, whiny moan at the idea.

Sasuke’s body arched as Naruto began to slowly pump his finger slowly. His soft mewling grew louder and louder as his body grew accustomed to Naruto’s finger. Before Sasuke could complain, Naruto quickly pushed another digit in and felt himself getting lost in the pure, scrunched up pleasure that was written on Sasuke’s face.

 _You’re beautiful,_ he wanted to say.

And then decided not to. He was pretty sure Sasuke would have laughed in his face and left the room if he uttered anything like that.

Sasuke let out a loud whine as he arched his back, making Naruto jump for a moment.

 _“Fuck. There, Naruto,”_ Sasuke rasped out, moving back against Naruto’s finger.

Victory blossomed in Naruto’s chest as he realised that Sasuke had dropped his arrogant little façade and was allowing Naruto to do whatever he wanted. Watching Sasuke writhe on the bed was pleasure enough. For fun, Naruto withdrew his fingers just to see Sasuke’s reaction.

“Are you gonna put it in me, or not?” Sasuke asked, his voice sounding breathless.

“Are you gonna tell me what you want me to do?” Naruto tried to say it in the sexiest voice he could muster, but he felt like a dog in heat.

“That much of a novice?” Sasuke panted, obviously frustrated.

Naruto rubbed his cock against Sasuke’s entrance teasingly. He had to suppress the groan that was threatening to spill over his lips. Letting Sasuke suffer for a moment would be worth it. Getting Sasuke to _beg_ would be more than worth it.

How many people could say, in this life and their last, that they had made Sasuke Uchiha _beg?_

Sasuke eyed him for a moment, obviously not expecting for Naruto _not_ to put it in him. He grinded against Naruto’s cock, wordlessly trying to convince Naruto to put it in him. Sasuke obviously didn’t remember how tenacious Naruto could be, and by looking at how red Sasuke’s cock was, he wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer.

Sasuke frustratingly hit the back of his head against the pillow. _“Fuck, Naruto! Just stick it in me, you asshole!”_

Naruto pushed his cock further against Sasuke’s ass. He felt satisfied knowing that he was the one in control. Even centuries later, he couldn’t squish that fire inside of him that claimed Sasuke as his rival. “I’m gonna need a little bit more than that, Sasuke.”

Sasuke _whined._

Sasuke Uchiha, the notoriously straight-faced bastard, _whined._

“Fuck. Please, put your cock in me. I fucking need it, Naruto. I’m fucking _begging you_ —”

“Okay, no need to be so eager about it.”

Sasuke shot him a glare that could have paralysed armies. Luckily, Naruto had enough time over the course of his lives to build up an immunity towards it.

Without another word, Naruto pushed his throbbing cock into Sasuke’s entrance. Sasuke’s tight heat practically engulfed his cock and Naruto had to stop for a moment to make sure he wasn’t going to cum right on the spot. Underneath him, Sasuke was panting and was staring up at him with the most lascivious look that would put most pornstars out of business.

Sasuke used his arms to cover his eyes. _“N-Naruto . . . fuuuuuuck.”_

Sasuke’s high pitched mewling alongside the mixture of his name made his hips move involuntarily. Naruto heard himself let out a deep growl and set up a fast, hard rhythm that had both of their moans filling the room. Naruto felt Sasuke wrap his legs around his torso but barely registered it as he continuously thrust into Sasuke’s tight heat. Sasuke angled his body slightly and Naruto felt his whole body stiffen underneath him.

 _“Fuuck. There, Naruto,”_ Sasuke’s voice was just a dry rasping noise at this point and Naruto felt his fingernails clawing into his back. _“Right ther— AH!”_

Naruto angled himself so he could directly hit that spot in Sasuke that made him feel good. Looking down, the look on Sasuke’s face was _sinful._ His mouth was half open and his eyes were nearly closed; Naruto almost wanted to lick the drool off the corner of his lips, and then had to remind himself that doing that would be weird.

Their moans got lost in the rhythm of each other’s thrusts. Naruto was certain that they probably sounded like screaming cats right now, but he didn’t care. All he knew was that _he_ felt good, and he wanted _Sasuke_ to feel even better.

“Come inside me,” Sasuke whispered seductively.

And with that, Naruto knew that he was done for. 

Naruto buried his face into the crook of Sasuke’s neck and let his moans drip directly into Sasuke’s ear. Naruto was happy that he could feel how hot Sasuke’s body was. It wasn’t just _him_ that felt like this. Naruto felt his cock jerk with a hot stream of cum inside of Sasuke. Sasuke bucked himself back against Naruto’s force and quickly stroked his cock, basically choking on his moans. A warm spurt hit Naruto’s navel, and he looked down to see that it was covered in Sasuke’s cum.

Naruto didn’t even realise that he was shaking with the intensity of his orgasm; Sasuke seemed to be in the same boat as him. It was with a non-verbal protest that he willed himself to pull out of Sasuke and flop next to him on the bed, trying to get his breathing back into check.

 _Never_ had he had sex like that.

Naruto stared at the ceiling, hearing only his and Sasuke’s heavy pants.

And then he realised where he was.

“Fuck, Karin’s gonna kill me,” he whispered, throwing an arm over his eyes.

Sasuke let out a breathless laugh from next to him. “Me too,” he agreed. “But you’re her cousin, so you’re worse off.”

Naruto’s gaze snapped to Sasuke’s. Hope blossomed in his chest for a moment.

“How did you know—”

“I’m one of Karin’s best friends,” he said pointedly. “Of course I knew that you guys were cousins.”

Naruto’s eyebrows furrowed together. “Then why did you ask me for my name, earlier?”

Sasuke eyes flicked down to his lips for a moment, before meeting his eyes again. It seemed like he hesitated for a moment, and then he turned over so Naruto couldn’t see his face. “I was trying to make conversation with you, but you were just a socially inept mess.”

Sasuke Uchiha calling _him_ socially inept?

“I am _not_ —”

Before Naruto could finish that sentence, Sasuke flicked him directly in the forehead. Naruto let out a small yelp as he protectively covered his forehead.

“You’re lucky that I thought you were hot when Karin showed me your picture,” he said breathlessly; the dim light of the room was washing him out, but Naruto could still see the red blooming on his cheeks. “Because the signals you were sending me were all over the place.”

“I was _not_ sending you any signals!” Naruto protested.

“Oh, sure,” he said. “Because you glaring at the guy I was talking to like you wanted to kill him _isn’t_ a signal.”

Any protest Naruto had died on his tongue.

He hated it when Sasuke was right. Then and now.

They lay in silence for a while. Their gazes didn’t leave each other as their chests moved up and down, trying to catch their breath. A million thoughts were running through Naruto’s head, and he wondered if Sasuke’s mind was going a billion thoughts a second like his were.

He had just fucked his best friend.

(From a previous life.)

And all he could say through hiding the tears that were threatening to spill over was:

“So, you really think I’m hot?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALWAYS WEAR PROTECTION EVEN IF SOMEBODY SAYS THAT THEY'RE CLEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T BE LIKE SASUKE OR NARUTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS A FICTION ONLY AND IN REAL LIFE IT WILL COME BACK TO BITE YOU IN THE ASS!!!  
> (now that the disclaimer's out of the way) 
> 
> and that's this chapter!! i wonder what will happen in the morning? will sasuke remember, now or in the future? who knows? (hmm emoji) 
> 
> this was also my first time writing or attempting to write smut, so any feedback would be appreciated for the future<3
> 
> thanks everyone so much!!<3


	3. When We Met Every Day in Summer (1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO so how we feeling about the boruto spoilers (if we've seen them) because i am HEARTBROKEN..........  
> don't get me wrong, i haven't touched a boruto chapter in my life, but i saw the spoilers on social media and was like hm. need to post chapter. *is sad for the rest of the day*.
> 
> my timetable for uni has just come out, too, so i just thought i'd let people know that i'm changing to updating this every FRIDAY instead because it makes it a lot easier for me!
> 
> AND ALSO: i just want to thank everyone who left such nice comments in the first and second chapter! it actually inspires me so much to write and i just want to let you know that i am genuinely thankful for them! thanks so much guys<3

**Three: When We Met Every Day in Summer (1)**

_We never had to force love._

_We were drowning in it_

_the moment we met._

-Paul Perry

Sasuke’s skin was hot against Naruto’s.

Somewhere in the middle of the night, one of them had thrown the blanket off the bed as they ended up going an extra two rounds. The room got too hot to keep anything covering them, and it just seemed to make _sense_ at the time. Looking down, Naruto realised that their naked bodies were on full display. On Karin’s sheets. Covered in cum stains. After making her sleep somewhere else.

Naruto's foggy memory recalled sending a messy text about how he was sleeping in her bedroom. He didn't bother waiting for an affirmative from her. The door was locked, and he had given her a head's up; his alcohol-induced mind corroborated that it was an acceptable way to handle things, and then subsequently passed out. 

He had just lost the game of _'Who's the Best Cousin?'_.

Naruto had been far too preoccupied with his jumbling thoughts to even realise that his limbs were completely entangled with Sasuke's. Moving around too much would surely wake Sasuke up, so he stilled himself. With a sober mind and a pounding headache, Naruto wasn't sure if he could handle any direct confrontation right now. Especially from Sasuke of all people.

Sasuke's body calmed him. Naruto would have stayed in that position forever if Sasuke allowed him to. Their bodies fit together perfectly. Like the instructions written into Naruto’s soul were: _to assemble properly, place next to Sasuke (memories sold separately)._ He let himself relax into Sasuke’s touch. Something about it was familiar and comfortable, which Naruto thought was peculiar considering he had definitely never had sex with Sasuke before. Kurama would have never let him forget it, so repressing anything like that was impossible. On top of that, this was the first _man_ that Naruto had ever slept with. Most teenage boys would probably be going through a sexuality crisis right now, running out of the door and avoiding any future interactions with Sasuke. Naruto's stomach twisted at the thought. Avoiding Sasuke now, and in the future, was the _last_ thing that he wanted to do! Instead of a hungover-induced, gut-wrenching regret that he had learned from waking up in a bed next to girls he didn’t even remember for a solid four months at university, his soul finally felt at peace. 

Honestly, last night had been the best sex that Naruto had ever had. 

(Sorry, Hinata.)

Naruto could feel his heart racing as he looked down at Sasuke’s sleeping form. One thing he had always remembered about Sasuke was that he always had the longest eyelashes. Longer than any of the girls back in the academy. His skin had always been flawless, too. Even in this life, he had been blessed with good skin. Naruto scowled as he remembered he was bestowed with the memories of his past life _and_ acne.

“Your heart’s beating really fast,” Sasuke’s tired voice grumbled from beside him, “you might want to get that checked out.”

“Sorry about that,” Naruto grumbled against Sasuke’s hair.

Dark wisps tickled the tip of Naruto’s nose. Naruto didn’t even realise the sigh that he had let out after he inhaled a scent that was all too familiar to him but so different at the same time.

Naruto remembered that Sasuke had always smelled faintly of pinewood and soap. Hygiene had always been second nature to Sasuke, and the Uchiha compounds always had the aroma of pinewood. Campfires at night and the smell of the logs they were ordered to retrieve always reminded him of Sasuke. The crackling of the fire, like his affinity with the lightning, or the warmth, that always blossomed in his chest whenever Sasuke was around. 

And he had always just settled on: _he's your friend. it's_ _totally normal to get butterflies around him._

Looking at his current situation, Naruto couldn't help but think that his deduction was slightly off. 

“Did you just smell me?” Sasuke asked, snapping Naruto out from his thoughts. His voice was a deep rumble against Naruto's throat that made him shiver a little. 

Naruto objected too quickly. “No.”

Naruto was happy that Sasuke couldn’t see his face. There was no doubt that it was glowing crimson from being so easily caught. Sasuke had always been sharp, and Naruto had always been bad at lying. The realisation that he was probably acting like Sasuke's fangirls back at the academy dawned on him, and he cringed a little.

Admittedly, however, Sakura and Ino were truly ahead of their time. _Pioneers_ in their taste in men. 

Naruto felt Sasuke's lips form into a smirk against his neck. “I don’t want to be the one to tell you this, but I don't think that you're as straight as you claimed to be.”

Yes, Naruto _definitely_ wasn’t panicking as much as he should have been. Sasuke had a devious little way of setting every inch of his skin on fire. Far sexier than any girls in those porno mags that Kiba always stuffed in his face at lunch, and Sasuke definitely _knew_ it. It was a dangerous combination. 

Perhaps Sai had been onto something when he referred to Sasuke as a gutless little homo.

“I think you’re right,” he muttered easily, strangely content.

Naruto felt Sasuke’s body stir next to him. Naruto’s eyes trailed Sasuke’s movements as he watched him drape his body over Naruto's, using one of his hands to hoist himself up whilst the other traced Naruto’s dry lips. Sasuke’s eyes trailed down Naruto’s throat as he heard the audible, dry gulp eliciting from Naruto’s nervousness. Smugness was plastered on his face like it always had been in their academy days, or when they had beaten Momoshiki and Naruto could barely stand.

Slowly, Sasuke started to lean down. Naruto felt himself close his eyes. Anticipation built up in Naruto’s chest—

_“Naruto! Sasuke! I swear to whatever god is up there that if you don’t get out of my room right this second I will castrate both of you!”_

Snapping out of whatever trance Sasuke had over him, Naruto’s eyes darted towards the door. Karin, like his mother, was an absolute demon when she was angry. Judging by the tone of her voice and the flurry of insults that were laying in his iMessage inbox from her, Naruto easily assumed that she was _seething._

Fair enough.

“We’re coming out now,” Naruto called back nervously.

_In both ways._

Karin didn’t hold back on how pissed she was about the situation. Sullied sheets caked in a mixture of Sasuke and Naruto’s semen, having to sleep in her parent’s bed which would undoubtedly be a giveaway that _something_ had happened last night, and the fact that her ‘slutty man-whore of a best friend’ had suddenly ‘converted’ her favourite cousin into being gay were all things that, Naruto had learned, made Karin wake up on the wrong side of the bed. 

“I think that’s bisexual erasure, actually,” Sasuke said casually. “I mean, he definitely likes girls too.”

Karin threw an empty plastic cup at Sasuke’s head, her teeth practically grinding together. “Naruto could do _much_ better than you, you asshole!”

Naruto knew that he couldn’t.

Even if he tried.

Not in this lifetime, or the next.

“I think that you're being slightly homophobic now,” Sasuke commented.

 _“I'm gay too, you asshole!”_ Karin argued back.

Grabbing one of the pink apples in Karin’s fruit bowl, Sasuke grunted as he took Karin’s words into consideration. It didn’t look like Sasuke believed her. He knew his worth. His dark eyes pinned back on Naruto.

“Naruto, do _you_ think that you could do better than me?”

Naruto instantly shook his head.

He was so, _so_ screwed.

A small smirk played on Sasuke's features as he tossed the apple in the air and bit out a large chunk of it, obviously satisfied with Naruto’s instantaneous answer. Like a well-trained dog. Naruto could practically _feel_ his pathetic tail wagging. 

Naruto was mesmerised with Sasuke’s bratty bravado. In their previous life, Sasuke had always unapologetically taken what he wanted in order to get ahead. He had a conscience, but was just a lot more honest about his goals and ambitions. Whilst Naruto — rightfully so — sometimes thought of Sasuke as an asshole, he hated liars even more. And Sasuke had never lied about anything once. 

There had always been a melancholy within Sasuke, even back then. Rightfully so, Naruto should add. His actions always had a double meaning, and everything that he did was calculated. Not in a cold or a cruel way, but in a way where Sasuke wouldn’t be able to act as he pleased and instead doing things for the sake of his extinct clan. Forever restrained by an invisible burden and reduced to the title of being an Avenger. All of his actions were things that he felt like he _needed_ to do for the Uchiha clan, but never for his own happiness. 

In this life, Sasuke was free to act as bratty and normal as he wanted to be.

And Naruto wanted to punch himself for being angry because Sasuke didn’t remember anything about their past life.

_About him._

Sasuke didn’t deserve to be plagued by their previous life’s memories. Chained down by the memories of avenging and holding the title of the last Uchiha. Forcing himself to take revenge on his brother and living in the same compounds where his entire clan was killed. Finding out that the village which he called home planned his clan’s demise from the start. Discovering that it was the same hand that the Third Hokage used to pat his head appraisingly that ordered the destruction of his clan.

“Here,” Sasuke said, offering Naruto a piece of paper. “For you.”

Naruto’s eyebrows knitted together, and slowly took it. “What’s this?”

“My phone number,” he said, his eyes twinkling with a mischievous intent. “Just in case you ever need to rediscover the fact that you’re gay. I'd be happy to help.”

Naruto knew that if he willed himself to he could have instantly combusted into a puddle onto the floor at Sasuke’s brazen words. Never had he remembered Sasuke being so direct and _promiscuous._ The glint in his eyes was enough to make Naruto’s knees buckle.

Articulating any words would just come out as a bumbling mess, so Naruto settled for a shaky nod as he watched Sasuke make his way out of Karin’s home before giving her a pat on the head to say goodbye. When Naruto gathered his thoughts, he realised how discombobulated the entire house was. Discarded red cups were scattered all over the floor and crumbs from late-night snacks had been crushed into the carpet. Most of the kitchen cupboards had been flung open, and the floor was disgustingly grimy and sticky. The smell of weed and booze permeated throughout the house. _Gross._

“You’re helping me clean up because of that shit you pulled last night,” Karin demanded, obviously not on board with the fact that Naruto had hooked up with her so-claimed best friend. In hindsight, it should have been obvious that they had known each other. Karin was an important part of Sasuke’s life in their previous world. Simply because _Naruto_ had never met Sasuke, didn't mean Karin had never met him, either. People had their weird way of finding each other in this world. “ _And_ you’re changing my sheets before my parents come back.”

“Sure,” he said with a shrug, making his way over to the hoover. It was the least that he could do.

“And Naruto,” she started.

“Yeah?”

 _“I’m_ the gay cousin,” she snapped, her voice not having any real bite. _“So get your own thing.”_

* * *

Naruto’s entire summer had been consumed by Sasuke.

Thoughts of Sasuke, days with Sasuke, _time_ spent with Sasuke.

It started with the small things. Naruto had messaged Sasuke, and had received a reply no less than five minutes later. _Good start._ They quickly started bantering back and forth; Naruto felt something well up in his chest when he started thinking about their academy days. It was exactly the same. Sasuke didn’t hold back on his playful insults, nor did Naruto.

It all happened two weeks after their initial meeting. When Sasuke’s parents and brother were coincidentally out of town, Naruto had been invited over to 'hang out'. Naruto had quickly accepted the invitation. After things had escalated (because when did they _not?)_ , the two of them had agreed to have a ‘casual’ relationship — which made Naruto’s stomach _churn_ because how do you go from _‘I’ll bear the burden of your hatred and die with you’_ to _‘wanna go for a quicky in the Wendy’s parking lot?’_ — with no strings attached.

One day, Naruto was just chilling on Sasuke’s bed. It was a Wednesday afternoon, and Sasuke had invited him over. Initially, Naruto had refused and said that he needed to finish his college essay, but that wasn’t a good enough answer for Sasuke.

**_Sasuke_** _  
[13:11] So? Just bring your laptop here, idiot._

**_You_** _  
[13:13] ok  
[13:13] ill be there in like 20 mins_

 ** _Sasuke  
_**_[13:14]_ 👍

Now, Naruto was laying on his stomach, splayed on Sasuke’s double bed. Limbs tangled together, Naruto didn’t know where he stopped and Sasuke started. He could feel Sasuke’s body practically tangled in his own; he could feel the way that Sasuke’s hair tickled his lower back as his shirt rode up slightly, or the comforting warmth that was radiating from Sasuke. Under normal circumstances, Naruto might feel a little bit uncomfortable being so physically close with somebody he had only met several times for a casual hook-up. 

Luckily, Naruto wouldn’t deem anything about their relationship as ‘ _normal_ ’.

“Are you sure you’re okay with me watching the television?” Sasuke asked.

“Knock yourself out,” Naruto muttered.

Silence wasn’t something Naruto could do. Thoughts and memories from his _real_ past always managed to creep in. Now that Sasuke had barrel rolled and cemented in his life (not that he was complaining), the memories were popping into his head more frequently than usual. 

Paradoxically, when he was in Sasuke’s presence, he barely even thought about them. Sleeping without Sasuke was becoming harder and harder. 

Naruto realised that he was finally understanding how addiction worked. 

Sasuke was watching one of those shows on Netflix that you watched to pass time. Nothing too interesting, but not boring enough to make him turn it off. Somehow, Naruto had managed to zone out the television into a dull murmur. 

Academics had never been a problem in Naruto’s past life. There wasn’t any ‘you need to pass in ninja math to become the Hokage’ so Naruto never studied, and opted for vandalising the Hokage Monument instead. He had nobody at home to rub his hair and congratulate him on high marks, so he didn’t see the point.

In this life, however, he had an aggressive mom _and_ a hard-working dad to impress. Not to mention there was actually a chance that Naruto wouldn’t get a good job unless he did well in his studies, hence his concentration with this _boring-as-fuck_ essay. For some reason, Naruto didn’t think ‘I used to be a Hokage’ would be taken seriously on his job applications.

“Naruto, how many girls have you slept with at university?”

“Uh, like four I think,” Naruto replied offhandedly, not taking his eyes off his laptop. “Why?”

“Just curious.”

If Naruto hadn’t been so immersed in his work, perhaps he would’ve picked up on Sasuke’s tone.

Citations were the only thing occupying his brain right now.

Suddenly, Naruto felt a weight settle on his upper back. Dark strands of Sasuke’s hair tickled his cheek — God Sasuke needed a haircut, it was looking like the Chuunin exams hair cut all over again — as he leaned in closer and took an interest in Naruto’s laptop screen. Only when Sasuke practically draped his entire body on Naruto’s back and wrapped his arms loosely around Naruto’s neck did he fully allow himself to snap out of his thoughts.

“What are you doing?” Naruto asked. 

“Reading your work,” Sasuke said easily, shuffling himself slightly on Naruto’s back.

 _Surely there was a much more convenient way to read compared to the position that Sasuke was in now,_ Naruto thought. 

_(Not that I am complaining, Lord First. Don’t take this away from me.)_

“Well, I’m warning you now: it’s really boring.”

Sasuke’s eyes trailed Naruto’s word document carefully. Naruto was shocked that Sasuke even managed to get through it. It was Naruto’s _major_ and even he could admit that this essay was disgustingly boring. 

“What’s it actually about?” Sasuke asked, scrolling down the word document.

Naruto shrugged. “Just about how love has been represented throughout the years in traditional media,” he explained, trying to suppress a yawn. “I’m mostly focusing it on how it changed alongside women’s emancipation.”

“What are they anticipating?” Sasuke questioned. 

It took Naruto a few seconds to mentally process what Sasuke had just said. Within a few moments he felt laughter slip past his lips and it suddenly became easier than breathing. Sasuke blinked owlishly at him, obviously flummoxed by Naruto’s sudden outburst.

“Like, equal rights,” he felt himself say through laughs, "not _anticipation._ " 

Sasuke obviously didn’t find it funny. He let out a small huff before continuing to read Naruto’s essay. “I didn’t hear you correctly,” he grumbled.

Sasuke’s eyes seemed to scan on something in particular.

“Is something wrong?” Naruto asked, sensing the way that Sasuke’s body stiffened up slightly.

_“’According to the ancient Otsutsuki Clan, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, the Sage of Six Paths split humans into two separate beings, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.’”_

It took Naruto a moment to register the fact that Sasuke had read a quote that he was analysing now to counterpoint one of his arguments. Something weird hung in Sasuke’s voice that Naruto didn’t like. Uncertainty filled Sasuke’s eyes as he seemed mesmerised by the words that had just slipped out of his mouth.

_Hope—_

(and guilt)

—filled Naruto's chest. 

_Because_ _do you really want Sasuke to remember everything that he had to go through for your own selfish desires?_

“Poetic, huh?” Naruto asked slowly, testing out the waters.

Sasuke’s words were muffled into Naruto’s shoulder blade. “Do you believe in shit like that?”

“Shit like what?”

“Soulmates,” Sasuke supplied.

Naruto answered far too quickly. “Yeah, I do.”

Sasuke seemed to hesitate for a moment. Naruto felt himself searching his eyes, trying to see if even a _tinge_ of recognition shone through.

“I never pinned you as a romantic.”

“Cuz I’m not,” Naruto grumbled.

_Liar._

_Shut up small voice in the back of my head._

“Soulmates are literally the most romantically corny thing ever,” Sasuke said dismissively. “It’s literally just people’s way to try and convince themselves that they’re not alone.”

_Are **we** corny, Sasuke?_

“I think it’s nice to imagine.”

“It’s _stupid_ to imagine,” Sasuke said a little bit sharply.

“Why’re you getting so upset over it?” Naruto’s said with a half-hearted laugh.

“M’not,” he grumbled again into Naruto’s shoulder blade. 

Hot puffs of air breathed against Naruto’s back, and he felt himself practically leaning in to try and get more of Sasuke’s warmth. Naruto had learned that his body constantly craved Sasuke. It was an unhealthy dependency that had formed within the short span of two weeks, but looking back at everything they had been through, Naruto would have hardly called their teenage relationship healthy.

“I thought you had a project to do?” Sasuke breathed, and Naruto could hear the smugness in his voice as he felt Sasuke’s fingers slip underneath his shirt. It was at an awkward angle, but Sasuke somehow managed to perfectly stroke his fingers to tease Naruto’s nipples. It took all of Naruto’s effort not to illicit a pathetic yelp.

“I do,” he muttered weakly.

“Then do it,” he whispered hotly into Naruto’s ear.

The bastard was _enjoying_ this.

“Can’t,” he panted, “when you do that.”

“You’re a shit student, then.”

“Cuz you’re— _ah_ — _a_ _distraction_.”

Oh god. Naruto hoped he didn’t sound like a dying cow.

One hand still teasing his nipple, Naruto felt Sasuke’s other hand slowly trail down his torso and brush alongside his navel. Another trait about Sasuke that Naruto had _hugely_ underestimated the wonders of in their previous life was him being ambidextrous. It made him _so_ much better in bed. Even Naruto heard himself gulp out of anticipation (or _emancipation_ , as Sasuke would say), as Sasuke’s fingers reached lower and lower.

“I don’t think I’ve made you beg yet,” he said softly, nipping Naruto’s ear. “Hearing you moan like that is kind of a turn on.”

_Well I hope so. We have been fucking for the past couple of weeks._

“Remember when you made me beg, Naruto?” Sasuke asked softly, and Naruto felt Sasuke’s bulge press against his ass. With every word, Sasuke gave another roll of his hips to add extra emphasis. “ _Fuck_ , it pissed me off. I just wanted your cock so badly, but you kept me waiting.”

Despite being a panting mess underneath Sasuke, Naruto felt like he needed to retort. He felt himself grab Sasuke’s arms and flip them over on the bed. Shock flashed on Sasuke’s face for a moment, but then it was quickly replaced with a look of victory and lust.

Sasuke liked teasing him.

And Naruto liked teasing back. 

Naruto lowered himself down and placed his hardening dick against Sasuke’s, and felt a flare of triumph as Sasuke let a small hiss of pleasure.

“You couldn’t make me wait,” Naruto grunted, slowly going against Sasuke’s faster thrusts. “You like my dick too much.”

Sasuke scoffed. “Yeah, right. I could find plenty—”

“Hey Sasuke, mom wanted me to tell you that—”

Naruto felt himself turn rigid against Sasuke immediately. Judging by the mortified look on Sasuke’s face, Naruto realised that he _didn’t_ imagine what he hoped that he had imagined.

Turning slowly towards the door, there was none other Sasuke's flummoxed older brother in the doorway, with his mouth slack. Seeing the great Itachi Uchiha, clan exterminator extraordinaire, stand in his little brother’s doorway with his mouth open like a gaping fish was definitely up there in the list of things Naruto thought he would never see. 

And then Naruto realised that he was a complete stranger to Itachi, too. They hadn’t met in this life. Hell, they had barely met in his _other_ life other than the burdensome _‘I’m trusting Sasuke to you’. Technically_ , Naruto _was_ still looking after him (and his sexual urges). It wasn't Naruto’s fault that Itachi didn’t remember their deal!

 _“Oh my god can you not knock? Get out! You’re not even meant to be back today!”_ Sasuke shrieked, throwing anything that he could grab at his older brother. Naruto was surprised that _he_ wasn’t being used as ammunition when Sasuke had ended up stripping his entire bed and nightstand. Objects were littered all over Sasuke’s bedroom floor. In the haste of Sasuke’s bombardment, it had seemed Itachi had decided to leave the room without saying a goodbye.

He had always been pragmatic like that.

When Naruto decided to take the awkward silence hanging in the air as a hint to get off the top of him, Naruto watched as Sasuke curled up into a ball on his bed. Mortification covered his entire face. _“I cannot believe my brother has just walked in on us.”_

Naruto didn’t really know what to say. Being an only child was the only thing that he had ever experienced, but Naruto assumed was probably the same embarrassment as your parents walking in on you. Naruto shuddered just thinking about his mother walking in on the scene that Itachi had just been privy to. Instead of bedroom objects, it would have been _his_ blood on the floor.

Sasuke had crawled up towards his headboard and had placed his face into his hands. Cutting through the heavy silence lingering in the room, Naruto could hear Sasuke darkly muttering to himself. Steam was practically emanating from his ears.

“Are you okay, Sasuke?”

Naruto knew it was a stupid question. That point was further emphasised by the harsh glare that Sasuke shot Naruto as he slowly raised his head.

“My brother just walked in on me about to have sex,” Sasuke said slowly. “Do I _look_ okay?”

“Are you not out or something?”

Sasuke glanced to the side. “We haven’t really spoken about it,” he muttered.

“I’m sure he’d be okay with it.”

Whilst Naruto had only spoken to Itachi briefly in their past life, he had never doubted that Sasuke’s older brother was wise. When he convinced Naruto to not let his new-found power make him arrogant like Madara, and had told him that he could only become the Hokage once everyone had acknowledged him, he knew that Sasuke's older brother's mind went _far_ beyond his age. Getting angry about Sasuke’s sexuality didn’t seem to be in Itachi’s nature.

When they were adults and Sasuke had gotten a lot more drunk than he should have been, Naruto clearly remembered how proud Sasuke had been of his brother. Itachi had loved Sasuke more than life itself, and couldn’t even bring himself to kill him even for the sake of the village. It wasn’t Naruto’s place to criticise Itachi’s past actions, but he knew undoubtedly that he loved his younger brother more than the world. Love like that transcended lifetimes, just like Naruto’s had.

He remembered when Sasuke had tearfully confessed Itachi’s last words to him:

_‘You don’t have to forgive me . . . but no matter what you decide to do from now on . . . I will love you forever.’_

Surely somebody who spoke such kind words to his beloved younger brother once wouldn’t care about Sasuke’s sexuality. Naruto wouldn’t believe anything on the contrary.

“What do you even know about him to make that judgement call?”

_Actually Sasuke, he tried to kidnap me (under false pretences), like, twice. Check your facts. And he entrusted you to me._

Still, Naruto couldn’t say that. Sasuke had no need to know about the tribulations that he had to suffer through. Living ignorantly was the most peaceful option for him.

Considering how Naruto had rejected the Infinite Tsukuyomi that offered the exact same ignorance, a part of himself wanted to laugh at the bitter irony. Times had obviously changed. 

Perhaps the power _had_ gotten to his head and he had grown to be like Madara. Just as Itachi had warned.

“Family shouldn’t be mad over something as minor as that,” Naruto said cautiously, knowing that he was talking out of his ass, but he couldn’t really explain to Sasuke that Naruto _knew_ how deep Itachi’s love for Sasuke ran. “Your brother won’t be mad at you. Especially over something small like this.”

Clearly unconvinced, Sasuke shot him another dirty look.

“What are you? A guidance counsellor or some shit?” he snapped. "What do you even _know_ about being gay, Naruto? As soon as you go back to university, you're going to live your easily little heterosexual life, meet a boring, heterosexual girl and have boring heterosexual kids and you'll never have to tell your family _anything._ You'll probably never tellanyone anything about _this_ , which is _fine by me_ , but please don't act like you _know_ what I'm going through at all. You’re not the first straight boy I’ve hooked up with, and not the last. Pretending that you know what I’m going through is _patronising._ "

Hurt flared in him for a moment. For some reason — that Naruto _refused_ to unpack — those words ran a lot deeper than they were probably intended to. The notion of _another_ future without Sasuke was painful enough, but his venom-coated words just inflicted extra damage.

Sometimes Sasuke had this _thing_ where he tried to hurt people and push them away; he did it quite a lot to Team Seven in his teen days. Consumed by his problems and pushing the world away. Scared to show his emotions until they all bubbled to the surface (and until he went insane with grief and his vision started to blur).

_“What the hell do you want with me anyway?! Why are you so obsessed with me?!”_

_“Because you’re my friend.”_

Naruto took a deep breath. Blowing up at Sasuke wouldn’t solve anything. He needed reassurance, and Naruto was _more_ than happy to give that to him.

“Listen, all I’m saying is that—”

“I think you should leave.”

Naruto’s mouth twitched downwards. “But you invited me.”

“And now I’m uninviting you,” he said as he rolled off his bed and adjusting his jeans. “I’ve got a lot to explain to my brother. You’d only be in the way.”

“Oh,” he said awkwardly, “I guess this you shutting me out?”

Sasuke’s irritated facial expression snapped to Naruto’s confused one; he slammed the door open and gestured towards it. “This is me asking you to _leave_.”

Getting shut out by Sasuke was something Naruto had sadly grown accustomed to, as much as he hated to admit it. Even when Sasuke had returned to the village, he had kept everyone (including his ‘one and only’) at arm’s length out of some sense of twisted sense of guilt and atonement.

_“It’s a journey of atonement.”_

_Don’t leave. Not again._

_“I didn’t think that you’d be coming to see me off…”_

_Of course I would._

_Naruto remembered giving Sasuke back his headband. The cool steel was heavy against his hand. Keeping it in his back pocket for all of those years only seemed to make it heavier. Giving this back meant that Sasuke would stay, right? That he was a ninja of Konoha. That he was always going to come back home._

_That they both wouldn't be alone again._

_“You still had this thing. . . ?”_

_Of course I did._

Naruto clenched his teeth. Remembering things like that were pointless. “Are you sure you don’t want me to—”

Sasuke let out an irritated sigh. “I won’t ask you again,” he snapped, “can you just leave?”

Naruto’s lips pressed into a thin line. Arguing back when Sasuke was like this was pointless. At times like this you had to leave him alone to cool over so he could realise that he was being an asshole.

Without saying another word to Sasuke, Naruto awkwardly arose from his bed with an awkward half-hardness in his pants that was dying very quickly. He peeled his laptop that was dangling dangerously off the edge of Sasuke’s bed and closed the door with a small _click._

Naruto had been to Sasuke’s house enough times to comfortably make his way through it and let himself out. The Uchiha house was as grandiloquent as they come. Style was always going to be synonymous with the Uchiha name, it seemed. Everything was sleek and modern, and Naruto had a hard time navigating his way through the house in his first few visits. Granted, he had mostly been cooped up in Sasuke’s bedroom, but there were times that they would just chill in Sasuke’s kitchen or watch movies in his living room.

“Hello.”

Naruto nearly jumped out of his skin as he passed the kitchen.

Sitting at the kitchen island was none other than Itachi, dressed in a well-fitted white button up and a pair of navy pants matching his discarded blazer that had been haphazardly thrown on the counter. From the earlier panic, Naruto hadn't even realised how distinguished Itachi’s outfit was. A cup of water was curled in his hand, but barely touched.

“Oh, h-hey,” he coughed out.

Itachi regarded him coolly. “Would you like to take a seat for a moment?”

“Oh, I would _love_ to but just got a call from my parents. It’s an emergency.”

Itachi’s gaze remained neutral. “Oh?”

“Yeah,” Naruto lied, trying to think of a quick excuse, “my goldfish died.”

“My condolences.”

“Thanks. We’re all taking it pretty hard,” he said with a sigh, blatantly avoiding Itachi’s gaze. “So I’m just going to go home and check if my parents are coping okay—”

“I’m sure they can wait for you till they flush it down the toilet,” Itachi said easily, a small smile gracing his lips. “I would really appreciate it if you took a seat.”

Reading Sasuke was an art that Naruto had perfected in his previous life. Every quirk and mannerism that had a double meaning was never able to deceive Naruto after a while; he saw through Sasuke far too quickly. Even in this life it wasn’t hard. Whilst Sasuke seemed a lot more _adjusted_ in this life, he still had some of that emotional constipation that just seemed to be innate in the Uchiha gene pool.

Trying to read Itachi was _much_ harder. His face remained passive and emotionless; a small, amicable smile was on his face, but it didn’t reach his impassive eyes that gave nothing away. Naruto recalled that this was the guy who was able to convince a terrorist organisation full of all-powerful ninja terrorists that he agreed with their morals whilst simultaneously feeding information to Konoha.

If anybody was a master at hiding their emotions, it was him.

And something about that made Naruto cautious. 

Naruto awkwardly walked over to the kitchen island and pulled out of the chairs with a noticeable _creak._

“Y’know, Sasuke actually told me to leave—”

“It’s my house too,” Itachi rebuked quickly, standing up and making his way over to the fridge. “Would you like a drink?”

“Oh, uhm, I’m good thanks.”

“Are you sure? Your throat seems dry.”

Naruto forced himself to swallow. 

“Then a glass of water, please.”

Itachi’s smile grew as he grabbed one the glasses from their sleek Uchiha cupboards and placed it under their water dispenser in their fancy fridge. He settled it down next to Naruto on the countertop and Naruto uttered a small thanks. 

“So, what’s your name?”

“Naruto.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Sasuke’s older brother, Itachi.”

_I know. You were sort of a big deal in the previous life._

“Yeah, Sasuke told me.”

Itachi sat back down. “You seemed quite close with my brother,” the smirk in his voice was undeniable.

Naruto remembered that Sasuke told him that hadn’t come out to Itachi yet. Whilst he knew Itachi definitely wouldn’t mind, it still wasn’t his place to confirm what Itachi had just seen. Even if it was in vain, Naruto realised that avoiding the conversation was probably the best thing he could do for Sasuke who was _definitely_ pacing in his room right now. “Oh, uhm, I wouldn’t say that—”

The temperature in the room dropped significantly. Naruto was certain he saw those stormy eyes flash red for a brief moment. “So are you just playing around with my little brother then, _Naruto?”_

Chills ran down Naruto’s spine at the dangerous undertone in Itachi’s voice. Even in this life, Itachi was clearly overprotective over his younger brother.

The problem in question was: _how did Naruto communicate to Itachi that his intentions with Sasuke were **completely** pure and that he and Sasuke were simply friends, despite Itachi walking in on him rubbing his dick all over his little brother? _

“No, I don’t think—”

“Because if you’re messing around with my little brother, I cannot say that I would take kindly to that,” Itachi warned. “He’s a sensitive soul, in his own way.”

“Me and Sasuke aren’t . . . well I mean . . . Sasuke’s not—”

“Gay?” Itachi supplied.

Naruto cleared his throat. “Yeah.”

“So you were dry humping each other in a _friendly_ way?”

“Well, it certainly wasn’t in an unfriendly way,” he said sheepishly.

Itachi glared at him. “Well at least I know that you’re not a liar,” Itachi said, “or a _good_ one, anyway.”

Naruto ran a hand through his hair. The stress was getting to him and he was just vomiting out any words that popped into his head at this point. Never a good sign for somebody like Naruto. “What Sasuke and me were doing actually was—”

“As much as I would _love_ to hear your excuse for _that_ upstairs, I’ve known that Sasuke's gay for quite a while.”

“Oh.”

“When he was fifteen his ‘friend’ came over for a sleepover. His bedroom was next to mine and I heard the headboard banging against my wall all night,” Itachi explained casually, fiddling with his cup. “I’ve _assumed_ since then.”

Jealousy oozed from every pore in Naruto’s body. Imagining some weird boy hovering around Sasuke and being allowed into his _room_ made his body flare with up with anger. When Naruto was fifteen, he was discovering how beautiful and disgusting the internet was. Girls — besides Ino and Sakura — were a foreign species and were banned from his room under the watchful gaze of Kushina.

(Honestly, Naruto had never deeply thought about how deep his attraction for girls ran either, but in his past life it was all just so easy to give into Sakura's demands and Neji _was_ dead and Hinata needed _someone_ ).

Why was Sasuke inviting weirdos into his room in the first place? Was he suddenly _friendlier_ towards people? There was no doubt in Naruto’s mind that Sasuke was extremely popular at his school. Good looks with an aloof personality carried him a long way in their past life. Sure, in this century people might think that Sasuke was a dick, but he was still objectively _cool._

Not to mention that there had been one point in his life where Naruto had thought that Sasuke was the biggest dick alive, and look how _that_ turned out. He wasted his adolescence chasing him around the Fire Continent!

From in front of him, he heard Itachi let out a breezy chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” Naruto asked defensively.

“I just thought that was a very strong reaction,” Itachi mused, obscuring his mouth behind his fingers. “I didn’t think that you’d known him for that long.”

Well Itachi wasn’t _wrong._ Not that Naruto would let him in on that. He didn’t want to come across as a desperate, obsessive weirdo who was enamoured with Sasuke after a couple of meetings (even though he technically was). “What makes you think that I haven’t know him for that long?”

Something that he couldn’t quite place twinkled in Itachi’s eyes. An emotion that Naruto couldn’t identify. If somebody had told Naruto that Uchihas had emotions that other people weren’t able to feel, Naruto wouldn’t have been surprised. Their punishment in their previous lives had been for loving too much and too deeply. Thankfully, sharingans and mangekyous weren’t around today, meaning they were allowed to love without consequences.

“Well, I just assumed that if you met him before he would’ve brought you home.”

It was an innocent enough statement. Perhaps it was Itachi trying to convey that Naruto was his little brother’s type, or that there was something that he saw within Naruto which would have attracted his little brother.

“Why would you think that?” he questioned.

Itachi shrugged, circling the rim of the cup with his finger. “He likes blondes.”

Naruto scoffed. “No he doesn't," he said, "Sasuke likes long hair.”

_Well, he never did fact-check it in this life, but he remembered all the girls grew out their hair for Sasuke._

Itachi's eyes widened infinitesimally. Naruto watched shock pass over his features for a second.

“No, he definitely likes blondes,” Itachi insisted. “He’s never said that he likes long hair.”

To somebody without their memories of a past life, it would have been an innocent comment. Nothing that anybody would have picked up on.

But Naruto _did_ have his memories.

Even though it was brief, he didn't miss the shock on Itachi's features. It had been common knowledge that Sasuke had said he liked people with long hair back in their academy days; whether it was gossip or truth, nobody really knew. Liking _blondes_ was one Naruto hadn't heard before. Sasuke _definitely_ didn't have the same inclination in their previous life. 

The question that Naruto was wondering was why did Itachi seem so surprised by Naruto's statement? Somebody as _perceptive_ as Itachi Uchiha being caught by off-guard by a simple comment which was not a big deal couldn't help but make the cogs in Naruto's brain turn. Itachi had trained his expression this entire conversation. One small comment had made his mask slip. To anybody else, it would have been a small thing that would have been smoothed over. A mistake, on Naruto's part.

 _Did Itachi_ — _?_

“Do you _know?”_ he questioned in a hushed whisper.

Any small amusement had drained from Itachi’s features. The change was almost undetectable. _Almost._ “Do I know what?”

The change in his demeanour had been a giveaway. Like Naruto, Itachi hadn't suspected anything of him. Naruto's question had obviously caught him off-guard. 

Out of impulse, or just _pure_ desperation, Naruto couldn't help but accuse him.

_“Oh my god! You know!"_

It had been too late. Even though it was only for a millisecond, Itachi had let his façade slip. Naruto had spent this entire lifetime trying to find somebody — _anybody_ — who remembered. Letting Itachi slip away was not a risk that his mental sanity would be able to handle.

Itachi’s facial expression searched Naruto’s, obviously not knowing how to reply. Shock ingrained into Itachi’s features and Naruto _knew_ that he had hit the bullseye.

Naruto may be dumb, but he was _not_ stupid.

“How,” Itachi’s voice sounded weaker than before, “ _how much you know?”_

“All of it,” Naruto said quietly.

A shuddering sigh escaped Itachi’s lips as he brought his hands up to cover his face. He seemed to be contemplating this situation, but adrenaline was already coursing through Naruto’s veins.

_He finally found someone who remembered._

“How long have you known?” Itachi asked carefully.

“Well, ever since I was little,” Naruto murmured, feeling slightly uncomfortable. He had _dreamt_ about finding somebody who understood, and now he was in front of someone that _did._ Speaking about it out loud sounded _ridiculous._ It cemented that he wasn’t _crazy_ and it had all happened. “Funnily enough, all my memories came crashing back to me one day when I saw Sasuke in a coffee shop when I was, like, fourteen,” he said with a bitter huff.

Itachi’s gaze snapped up, removing his hands from his face. “Does _Sasuke_ know?”

“No!” Naruto said quickly, standing up in his seat. “No, not at all!”

A sigh of relief escaped Itachi’s lips as he rubbed his forehead. “Thank god,” he breathed, before turning back to Naruto, his voice serious, “he can _never_ know.”

“I wasn’t planning on telling him, if that’s what you're getting at."

Itachi shook his head. Naruto couldn’t help but detect the sadness in Itachi’s voice. “I can’t have him going through those memories again,” his words were spoken in a way that seemed like he was trying to get Naruto to understand, but he already did understand. All too well. “It’s better this way.”

Naruto nodded slowly. He felt himself swallow bile that had built up in the back of his throat. His mouth was _very_ dry. All of a sudden, Naruto was very grateful for Itachi’s insistence on the glass of water; he finished the whole glass in a few seconds before wiping his mouth.

“How long have you known?”

Itachi shrugged, leaning back in his chair a bit. “I’m the same as you,” he answered. “I’ve just remembered glimpses of things for as long as I could remember. Everything came crashing back to me as soon as my parents brought Sasuke back from the hospital.”

“So, Sasuke’s kinda the catalyst for remembering things, huh?” he laughed, but there was no humour in it. 

“I think it’s because he was the one that we loved the most.”

A wave of silence washed over the two of them. Words that Naruto wanted to say and ask jumbled in his head, but he couldn’t find his voice. Out of everyone that he met, Itachi was the _last_ person that he expected to have his memories. Sympathy bubbled in his gut. Whilst it had been hard for Naruto, he couldn’t have even imagined how arduous it must have been for Itachi. Living under the same room as the family that he had—

Life had never been particularly lenient to Sasuke’s older brother.

Questions that Naruto wanted to ask lingered on the tip of his tongue. As much as Naruto wasn’t known for his social graces and unobtrusiveness, he realised that there was a line that even Itachi probably didn’t want to cross. Horrors from what actions he had done undoubtedly had haunted him in this life, if the early wrinkles and dark pillows under his eyes were any indication of his sleepless nights.

“You don’t have to give me such a pitying look,” Itachi said softly, a small (genuine) smile ghosting his features. “I know what I did in that life was unforgivable. I wouldn’t blame you if you were cautious around me.”

Naruto shook his head. “That’s not it. . .” he said slowly, trying to gather his words. “I know why you did what you did . . . and it wasn’t your fault.” Judging by the look on Itachi’s face, he knew that Naruto meant his words. “You were just a kid . . . it wasn’t your fault what Danzo and the Third Hokage made you do . . . you weren’t given any other choice and . . .”

Naruto didn’t even feel himself trail off from his words. The lump in his throat was suffocating now. Hot tears streamed from his eyes before Naruto could even notice in time to stop them. Crying in front of Itachi seemed fruitless. Calm and composed Itachi Uchiha, who never showed a flicker of emotion was watching him _cry_ over things that happened centuries of years ago.

 _“Fuck,”_ he croaked, his voice watery. “Sorry, s’just . . . I think a lot of us got fucked over in that life. It's unfair."

Itachi had reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of tissues, offering one to Naruto with an outstretched hand. Naruto leaned over the kitchen counter and blew his nose, unapologetic about the loud noises he was making.

“You were always kind,” Itachi said, and if Naruto didn’t know any better he would have thought that he heard a tinge of _affection_ in his voice. “That’s why I entrusted Sasuke to you. You were the emotions that he never allowed himself show.”

“I’m still keeping that promise,” Naruto said stubbornly. “I’ll look after Sasuke to the very end.”

Itachi huffed out a laugh. “I didn’t mean in _that_ way like I saw you guys up there,” he sounded borderline amused, “I never thought that your relationship ran _that_ deep. In hindsight, though, I can’t say that I’m too surprised. You were very involved with him.”

Naruto spluttered. _“That’s not—!”_ Naruto tried to find any articulate words in his brain that could explain properly why he was humping Sasuke. “ _I mean, it just happened!”_

_Oh good one, Naruto. Very articulate._

_I accidentally fell on his dick, I swear._

Itachi shook his head. “As much as I didn’t want to see the display that I walked in on, I’m happy that you two found each other in this life,” he admitted quietly. “I think you’re what Sasuke will always need, whether he admits to it or not.”

Hearing somebody as wise as Itachi saying those words just corroborated what he had always thought; of course, it went both ways. “I need him too,” Naruto confessed.

Time flew by between the two of them quickly. After they had got past all the deep, emotional baggage that they had to carry for their entire lives, they spoke about all the people that they had met from before. Itachi had managed to track all of the members of the Akatsuki down. Naruto’s laughter was uncontrollable as he found out Hidan had accidentally been indoctrinated into a cult and is now trapped in a land of random fields somewhere in Texas.

_That’s what you get for killing Asuma-sensei, asshole._

Nagato, Yahiko and Konan — the only ones who Naruto particularly cared about — had apparently lived routinely normal lives. Yahiko and Konan were married, and Nagato was the godfather to their two children. Naruto was genuinely happy that they had all found peace. Growing up in the heart of war and destruction had caused Nagato to carry scars around throughout his life. Hearing that he was now living comfortably with his friends made Naruto’s heart swell.

Too wrapped up in their conversation, nor Itachi or Naruto heard the footprints pattering down the stairs. Not even when Sasuke initially walked into the kitchen did they notice his presence. Lost in a dead world that had been simultaneously both beautiful and cruel.

“What are you still doing here?” Sasuke barked from behind him.

Naruto whipped around quickly in his seat to see a seething Sasuke standing in the doorway. Arms folded, he flashed Naruto a menacing glare that screamed his dangerous intent. It was almost the same expression that Sasuke had shown him in the Valley of the End. Right before he was about to kill him. 

_Stop being such a drama queen, Sasuke._

“I just—”

“I asked him to talk to me for a while,” Itachi supplied, cutting Naruto off.

Sasuke’s gaze turned to Itachi. “Why?”

“Am I not allowed to talk to my brother’s friends, now?”

“No, you're not,” Sasuke quipped. An irritated sigh left his lips as Sasuke ran his hands through his hair, “look, Itachi, we need to talk.”

“Yes, I think we do.”

Naruto detected that he was no longer needed in this conversation.

“Then, I’m gonna go,” Naruto announced quickly, grabbing his laptop from the kitchen counter. “Thanks for having me.”

“Wait, Naruto, before you leave . . .”

Naruto halted in his tracks as Itachi clasped onto his shoulder. Reaching into his pocket, Naruto watched as Itachi pulled out a meticulously embellished business card that had all the refinement of an Uchiha.

_Itachi Uchiha  
University of Cambridge Professor  
History and Economics  
(+1) XXX-XXX-XXXX (USA)  
(+44) XXXXXXXXXX (UK)  
(+81) XXXXXXXXXX (JAPAN)_

Naruto felt his eyes grow comically wide.

“You’re a professor at _Cambridge?”_

Itachi shrugged. “History always came easy to me, and economics was just fun,” he explained, eyes twinkling with mirth; like Naruto, he had an ‘affinity’ for history, it seemed. “Don’t hesitate if you ever need to talk or just want to message me.”

Naruto gave him a shaky nod, his eyes grazing past Sasuke on his way out. Sasuke looked _fuming._ When he was like this, Itachi was probably the only one who could cool him off (for now). Deliberating the fact any longer would just waste time, and Naruto remembered that he had an essay due worth 20% of his grade in under seven hours.

After all, it wasn’t like Naruto was going to let him go again. He would fight tooth and nail to keep Sasuke in his life. 

Saying a small goodbye to the both of them, Naruto ran over to his shoes and excused himself out of the house.

Tension between Uchihas had always been intense, and he did _not_ enjoy the energy in that kitchen.

Five hours later, after Naruto had submitted his essay — which he didn’t proofread because he lived in the moment — he finally allowed himself to check his phone. Distractions were just too easy when the essay was so boring. Naruto smiled to himself; in his previous life, he wouldn’t have even _dreamed_ of not allowing himself to get distracted. Life was too short.

Now, he planned to make his life as long as he would be allowed.

With Sasuke in it.

(Hopefully).

Turning on his phone, he couldn’t help but chuckle at the notification that was blaring at the top of his screen.

**_Sasuke  
_ ** _[22:21] Are you going to fuck my brother? :/_

Sent an hour ago. Sasuke was probably pissed at the late reply.

 **_You:  
_ ** _[23:17] ?????????? **  
** [23:17] WHAT  
[23:17] hahahaha nooooo_

Sasuke’s reply was almost instantaneous. Naruto felt his chest lurch.

**_Sasuke  
_ ** _[23:18] Why not?  
[23:18] He’s obviously your type._

 **_You  
_ ** _[23:19] no. YOU’RE my type!!!!  
[23:19] me and itachi just got along  
[23:20] and honestly i think hes out of my league :/_

 **_Sasuke:  
_ ** _[23:21] So you’re settling for me?_

 **_You:  
_ ** _[23:21] o no im punching above my  
weight with u too.  
[23:21] ur the one settling but im not  
letting this opportunity slip away_

 **_Sasuke:  
_ ** _[23:25] You can’t  
[23:25] Just  
[23:26] Say  
[23:26] That  
[23:26] .  
[23:26] That's really gay of you,   
actually. _

_  
_ _[23:28] Sorry about earlier. I was  
being kind of a dick._

_You:_  
_[23:26] yh you kinda were_  
_[23:26] but its ok_

Instead of texting him back, Naruto’s phone screen was illuminated with Sasuke’s caller ID.

They ended up talking until Naruto heard the chirping of birds outside of his window and the sky turned blue. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's it for this chapter! 
> 
> (oooo Itachi remembers..... i wonder if anybody else does...... who knows.........)
> 
> this hasn't been read through properly because i'm forcing myself to do a lesson topic for tomorrow and it's currently just before 6am (love uni sleeping schedules<3) so bare with any mistakes and i'll edit them in the morning. as ALWAYS constructive feedback is welcomed and HEAVILY appreciated!!!<3
> 
> till next week!


	4. Four: When We Met Every Day in Summer (2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!!! Nothing really to say at the start of this note, except for thanking everyone for the kudos-ing and lovely comments (but I can tell that reading that for the next 6 - maybe 7 - chapters might get a little bit repetitive for you guys, but I AM really thankful so I can't help it!) and I hope that you like this chapter too!
> 
> This is a long chapter, btw. I think while editing it I added an extra 1000 words? Idk how that's possible but *shrugs*. It took me so long to read through it so sorry if there's any mistakes! 
> 
> as always i rlly appreciate constructive criticism! now without further ado<3

**Four: When We Met Every day in Summer (2)**

_And I’d choose you;_

_in a hundred lifetimes,_

_in a hundred worlds,_

_in any version of reality,_

_I’d find you and_

_I’d choose you._

-The Chaos of Stars

Naruto’s free time had mostly been bombarded by Sasuke. Going over to Sasuke’s house, grabbing a bite to eat, watching movies, _sex_ — his entire schedule had been consumed by the object of his atavistic desire. 

Not that Naruto's was complaining. Compared to their previous lives where he had been deprived from Sasuke’s presence for so long, this was much better. 

Surprisingly, Sasuke was much less broody this time around. 

Sure, he had his 'emo' moments from time to time — and Naruto had recently found out that Karin and Sasuke had met at a Bring Me The Horizon concert, which he _never_ let Sasuke forget — but he was a lot less angsty in this lifetime. 

“Those girls are staring at you.”

Noodles halfway falling out of his mouth, Naruto turned his gaze to the group of giggling girls who Sasuke had obtrusively pointed out. Five girls sat in a corner, and they _must_ have been no older than sixteen.

And they obviously _weren’t_ staring at Naruto.

“You do realise that they’re staring at you, right?”

Sasuke tilted his head, obviously confused. “Why would they be staring at me?”

“Cuz you’re good looking?”

“Yeah, to _guys.”_

“I don’t think it’s a one-gender policy thing, Sasuke,” Naruto said. “You are objectively hot.”

Whatever look Sasuke flashed them quickly ceased any small giggles and blushes from the table. Naruto almost felt bad for the girls; it wasn’t like they somehow knew how much Sasuke despised them following him around and muttering amongst themselves. Even since the academy, it just had been something that had made him unreasonably angry. 

Sasuke had asked Naruto if he wanted a bite to eat, and Naruto was more than happy to oblige. Ramen was his first suggestion, being another love of his crossing over from his previous life. Kushina had slowly been trying to cut it out of his diet, but Naruto couldn’t resist it. University hadn't helped his habit, either. Instant ramen was a _staple_ in a student's diet. Easy and quick. _Everybody_ ate it. Cutting it out of his diet would have been a battle of perseverance that Naruto didn't have in him.

Even now, it was his all-time comfort food.

Sasuke didn’t seem to particularly mind the suggestion, either. Whilst he groaned a tiny bit at Naruto's choice, there wasn’t any real fight about it; and Naruto knew that if Sasuke _really_ didn’t want to do something, then he wouldn’t.

“Have you finished all your work now?” Sasuke asked, discarding their previous conversation.

“Yeah. I’ve still gotta go over the material since a lot of it’s coming back in second year, but all my essays are done.”

“Thank god.”

Naruto couldn't help but hide the grin that made its way onto his face. “Aw, Sasuke, were you missing me?”

“Not at all,” came Sasuke's easy response. If Naruto hadn’t been able to read Sasuke’s averting eyes and the way his cheeks puffed out a little bit, he might have gotten a little bit offended. “It’s just, for a straight guy, you’re not bad in bed.”

Sasuke _loved_ to bring up the fact that Naruto was a 'straight' guy. Whether he was trying to remind Naruto or himself, Sasuke always found a way to bring it into the conversation. Naruto had determined that he was just Sasuke-sexual at this point. The idea of being with _anybody_ else made his skin crawl. 

“I think that we’ve established that I’m not _entirely_ straight by now.”

A smirk made its way onto Sasuke’s lips. “Well you could say—”

“Sasuke?”

Both of them looked up.

Naruto almost choked on his ramen.

Standing before them was none other than a face Naruto didn’t _mind_ forgetting. Someone who Naruto had no qualms with never seeing again. Just seeing his slimy face have the audacity to appear in front of Sasuke made Naruto’s blood boil.

Sasuke didn’t look happy, either.

“Oh. Kabuto,” he regarded coolly.

Oh, and they seemed to know each other.

_Great._

Like the snake he was, Naruto’s eyes didn’t leave Kabuto as he slid into their booth next to Sasuke. He didn’t even bother looking in Naruto’s direction as he raised one of his arms to rest on the backstop of Sasuke’s seat. Naruto felt his eyebrow twitch out of annoyance. 

“So,” Kabuto started, leaning in closer to Sasuke, “I haven’t seen you around for a while.”

Sasuke leaned away almost instinctively. “There’s probably a reason for that.”

“Oh, c’mon! We used to have loads of fun!” he exclaimed.

Sasuke’s gaze hovered to Naruto for a moment. He obviously wasn’t comfortable around Kabuto. In their previous life Kabuto had been a first-grade-certified-freak with weird information cards that Naruto never really grasped the concept of. 

Kabuto’s greasy gaze creeped over to Naruto. “Oh? You got a new friend, Sasuke?” he questioned with the same smug grin on his face, “And here I thought you didn’t play well with others.”

“Who’s this guy, Sasuke?” Naruto asked dubiously.

“I’m Kabuto Yakushi,” he said, leaning a little bit closer to Sasuke. “And you’re Sasuke’s new . . . plaything, I’m assuming?”

Naruto’s knuckles were white, but he had to remind himself that they were in public. Shouting profanities and kicking Kabuto’s ass wouldn’t do anything for him besides getting him a record. Sometimes he wished that he had Kurama’s chakra to destroy this guy.

Surprisingly, Naruto was able to keep his voice even despite the tumultuous anger threatening to spill. “What do you mean?”

Kabuto’s voice was a hypnotising purr. “Well with somebody like Sasuke, he gets bored easily.”

“I think you’re using the time I rejected you a little bit too generally,” Sasuke quipped. 

“Not just me though, was it Sasuke?” Kabuto whispered, his voice dripping venom. “You’ve gained quite the reputation now, and then I see you sitting with _another_ man? I couldn’t help but come over.” Kabuto turned to Naruto, “but who can blame you, his body is so—”

_Red._

_All Naruto could see was a pure, angry red and the feeling of being consumed by Kurama's chakra. His skin was seared from the intensity of Kurama's dense chakra. Filled with malicious intent and a scorching determination of getting Sasuke back. Kurama's chakra bubbled with anticipation as Naruto let himself be consumed with rage as Kabuto and Orochimaru stood so confidently in front of him. Mocking him._

_T_ _aunting him about Sasuke._

_Whatever came out of his mouth was purely guttural ._

Naruto abruptly stood up from his seat. Onlookers quickly turned their gaze towards their table as their cutlery banged against the table. Beating Kabuto to a bloody pulp would have been _more_ than cathartic, but Naruto knew that he couldn’t. Not here.

The anger he felt paralleled with that day when he found out Orochimaru wanted to use Sasuke’s body. Kabuto had mentioned it so casually; how could Naruto _not_ be infuriated by it?

Now was the same.

“C’mon, Sasuke. Let’s go,” he grumbled.

“Oh? You don’t want to hear stories about Sasuke? He can be very persuasive when he wants to be—”

**_( " D O N ' T_** **_T A L K_** **_A B O U T_** **_S A S U K E_** **_L I K E_** **_Y O U_** **_O W N_** **_H I M_** **_! " )_**

Naruto had barely registered he had clasped Kabuto by the shirt until he realised he couldn’t push him more into the seat unless he broke the wood. Whisperings and murmurings surrounded them now, and the young servers looked unsure how to act. One of them had run into the back. Probably to get the manager, Naruto was assuming.

**_(" E S P E C I A L L Y_** **_I N_** **_F R O N T_** **_O F_** **_M E_** **_! "_** _**)**_

“If I see you sniffing around Sasuke again, I _swear_ that I’ll kill you,” he growled, low and threatening. It was as if he had been possessed by the feral Nine Tails again. Red blinded his vision.

Kabuto seemed to have lost some of his usual bravado. His glasses looked slightly askew, and his forehead had a fresh sheen of sweat. Even as pompously-dressed as he was, Kabuto still looked pathetic.

“Where did you find this guy?” he choked.

Sasuke had dragged him out of the restaurant before Naruto even realised. One minute he was sitting in the warm booth, slurping on ramen, and the next he was out of breath, a few blocks away from the restaurant. Sasuke’s grip on his arm was tight and fierce. Pain blossomed on the palm of Naruto’s hands, and his fingernails burned. Crescent-like shapes had been etched into his hand, and Naruto realised how much pressure that he had actually been using. Rage had taken over, just like it had in the past. Kabuto (and Orochimaru) had always known what buttons to press when it came to Sasuke.

_(And when it came to Sasuke, Naruto had so many pressable buttons to choose from.)_

“What the fuck was that?” Sasuke questioned, slightly out of breath.

Naruto didn’t know how to respond, and decided that a weak shrug was his only line of defence.

Sasuke let out an irritated sigh. “Does it bother you?”

_Obviously._

_Even in this life this guy still wants to use your body._

_Just not in the same way as last time._

“A bit,” he admitted.

Sasuke clicked his tongue. “Why?”

“Cuz he was _all_ over you!”

“No he wasn’t,” Sasuke argued. “If he touched me I would’ve kicked him off.”

Naruto knew that he was letting his anger get the best of him. Explaining that he was annoyed about events that happened in their past life was not an option; how could you explain to your more-than-friends-with-benefits-but-sometimes-I-don’t-know-because-Sasuke-is-never-clear-with-his-feelings-and-I-can’t-read-where-I-stand-with-him that he used to be an international terrorist who sold their body to the predator and seeing Kabuto talk about him so casually just reinforced how pissed off he had been then and now. 

“Why are you taking _his_ side?”

“I’m not taking sides, Naruto,” Sasuke snapped, "But you were acting childish. I’m an adult who can handle myself. I don’t need you _babysitting_ me.”

“So if some random guy came in and was saying all of that shit about _me—”_

“I don’t think I would have to worry. I don’t think you’ve been with any guys before me,” he said mockingly, before adding, “and I’m not insecure.”

“I’m _not_ insecure!”

“Actions speak louder than words,” Sasuke grumbled. “And this isn’t the first time you’ve done this! At Karin’s party—”

“Because _he_ was a creep, too!”

People turned their heads at Naruto’s voice. He hadn’t even realised he was shouting until Sasuke cringed slightly through the irritation.

Sasuke let out a sharp huff. “I can’t deal with your jealous bullshit, Naruto. It’s not like we’re dating or anything. We’re just a casual thing. There’s literally no need to get so worked up over guys I _used_ to be with.”

Sasuke’s words hurt a lot more than they intended to. Naruto felt his stomach drop when Sasuke had called their meetings _‘casual’._ Sure, Naruto was foolish to expect that Sasuke felt the same way that he felt; he didn’t have the database of their memories lodged into his head, constantly playing on repeat. Expecting anything more than a no-strings-attached deal was foolish of him. Even if they had been spending a lot more time together, Sasuke had never said that they were anything more; he made it clear that he enjoyed the sex, but never explicitly stated that he enjoyed Naruto’s company. Their relationship was purely physical on Sasuke's part. 

Naruto’s soul screamed for Sasuke’s, but the question was:

_did Sasuke’s soul feel the same?_

“You’re right,” Naruto said dejectedly. “We’re not together, and getting jealous is stupid.”

Sasuke rubbed his temple; his voice was exasperated. “Listen, Naruto, I didn’t mean—”

“No, it’s fine. You said what you meant to say,” Naruto said. “I’m just gonna go home.”

“Oi, don't be a dumbass—”

Naruto didn’t even bother to listen to Sasuke’s excuse. He was hurt. Hurt because realistically, he knew that he was in the wrong from anybody else’s perspective. Nobody besides Itachi would understand the dilemmas that he was going through. Letting Sasuke move on from _everything_ would have probably been the least selfish thing to do. After all, who was Naruto to keep Sasuke chained down to him? Hanging on to memories who were barely Sasuke to begin with? Sasuke didn’t have a bond with the current him, and Naruto had a bond with a Sasuke who had passed centuries ago.

A bitter laugh left Naruto’s lips. The bond that Naruto longed for barely even belonged to him. In this life he had parents, friends, and was never ostracised by the public (even if he was getting weird stares after his public argument with Sasuke right now). His bond with Sasuke had been based on a mutual understanding of being alone and shunned by the village in their own way. To be the last one of their kind and drowning in the depths of questions that they never had the answers to. Followed relentlessly by callous rumours and whispers behind their backs even though they could hear everything.

_Naruto remembered the utter shock that ran through his body when Sai revealed that he had met Sasuke._

_Four years had passed since their first fight in the Valley of the End. Getting Sasuke back was his number one goal. Even before becoming the Hokage. If he couldn't save Sasuke, then it was all for nothing. All of his efforts wasted._

_"Even though Sakura told me you think Sasuke as a brother, he said that you mean **nothing** to him, so why do you care so much?" _

_Naruto had been asked so many times why he had clung to Sasuke. Even when everybody had given up on him. He was tenacious, sure, but Naruto knew what people were saying. That he was obsessed with getting Sasuke back to the village. That it was unhealthy how much Naruto wanted to get Sasuke get back._

_(And maybe they were right.)_

_"Why?"_ _Sai asked, bound by Yamato-sensei's ropes. "It's not like anyone's ordering you to . . ."_

_Naruto knew why. He had always known why._

_"When I first met Sasuke, I totally hated him. . . but at the same time, I also really enjoyed being around him."_

_Sasuke had been the first to accept him. When they were little, Sasuke didn't treat him differently. Sasuke didn't care that the grown-ups had told their children to stay away from him. In the academy, he had been the only one who wasn't disgusted with doing the Shinobi unison sign with him. Interlocking their fingers to show that they respectfully sparred as shinobis._

_As equals._

_"'Cuz he really accepted me more than anyone else."_

And now, nothing tied them together besides Naruto’s fruitless efforts trying desperately to hang on to that invisible red string that was fading more in colour as the days ticked by. Sasuke obviously just wanted fun, and who was Naruto to judge that? He was nineteen and living his life to its fullest; it was better than him doing a ‘journey of atonement’ like he did in his previous life. Only getting a letter once a month from his messenger hawk. 

When Naruto got home, the house was bright and ebullient. Kushina and Minato were watching a weird, loud program whilst they both attempted to cook simultaneously. The food didn’t look great — they never had cooperated well in the kitchen together — but at least they looked happy. Smiles beamed on both of their faces; Kushina was always loud and vocal about her happiness, whilst Minato’s small smiles showed how content he was.

Wasn’t this enough?

Seeing his parents living the life that they never got to live because of Obito's manipulation of Kurama? 

Where did this selfish desire come to rekindle his bond with Sasuke? He had done that in their previous life, so why was he beating the dead horse?

After all, they had broken the Cycle of Hatred.

And nothing linked them anymore.

_So why was Naruto stubbornly hanging on to a non-existent bond?_

“Naruto, you’re home!” Kushina called happily, running out of the kitchen with a ladle; a formidable weapon for a woman like her. “Are you eating?”

“I’m good!” he answered, trying to not let his downcast mood meet his mother’s eyes. The last thing he wanted to do was make her troubled by his glum mood. “I already ate.”

“But your dad and I cooked a whole meal!” she whined. “I wanted you to try it! It’s my new recipe!”

Minato was the best cook around. His dishes were always cooked to perfection. Something about a home-cooked meal always hit differently considering his past life. He never turned down his dad’s dishes, and his parents were always happy to know their son wasn’t a picky eater; he even stuffed the steamed broccoli down when he was seven.

 _Kushina’s_ cooking on the other hand . . .

“There’s a reason I went out.”

_“Why you little—”_

Naruto ran upstairs before his mother could get to him. He swore that he saw her hair imitate Kurama’s tails. When Kushina was angry, she was a demon. Minato was the only one who could handle — when he wanted to — her in that state. Half of the time he gave her free reign, though, claiming that her tempers were what made her ‘the woman who he wanted’. If they hadn’t been dealt such a shitty hand in their previous life, Naruto would’ve gagged at that analogy.

After Naruto reached his bedroom, he practically dived into his bed, burying his head into his pillow. Wallowing in self-pity in the dark seemed like the best thing to do. It wasn’t like he could discuss his thoughts with anyone besides Sasuke’s brother who was _always_ on Sasuke’s side.

A small knock at the door pushed him out of his contemplations.

“Naruto?”

He recognised that voice.

“Hi, dad,” he grumbled.

Peaking from the other side of the door was hair and eyes very similar to his own. Even though his personality was so alike to his mother’s, Naruto looked _identical_ to his father. When Ino, Sakura _and_ Kiba (Naruto was weirded out too) loudly proclaimed him to be a ‘DILF’ in the middle of their art class, Naruto couldn’t help but take it as a compliment. In an oblique way, they had been complimenting him too.

(After he grew into his looks of course.)

“Do you want me to turn the lights on?”

Naruto didn’t try and make his voice seem lighter. “Keep the lights off.”

Minato didn’t reply, but just crept further into Naruto’s room. Through the darkness, he could see the silhouette of his dad creeping closer.

“Is there anything you want, or?”

“You just seemed a tiny bit down,” Minato whispered, sitting on the edge of Naruto’s bed.

“I’m fine,” he snapped.

Naruto had always noted that he was slightly colder towards his father. His friends had told him numerous times that he was a ‘mommy’s boy’, which he couldn’t deny, but he didn’t know where the rage towards his father came from.

Snippets of their first meeting always flashed before his eyes.

_"Why would you ever put the Nine Tails inside your own son?!!" Naruto screamed at the top of his lungs. Years of suppressed rage and anger toppled to the surface. He had taken it all out on his father, but it had been **his** fault! "How could you put me through all of that?!"_

_Punching him had felt good._

_But he wished that he had a dad in his childhood. To protect him from the adults in Konoha. No amount of punching or shouting would have been able to make up for the years of isolation and torment at the hands of the village elders, the stupid adults, and the Third Hokage keeping him in ignorance and demonising him for being a Jinchuriki._

Dying with his wife was noble and all, and Naruto was genuinely happy that Kushina didn’t die alone. Still, something bitter built up in his throat when he remembered how he was outcasted by the village because he was alone. All because of Minato's actions. He didn’t _have_ to seal the Nine Tails in his son, but he did anyway. And then he left Naruto alone to fend for himself.

_"Even you. . . have no clue how! You're all selfish!" Naruto bellowed. "I'm not smart, I'm not a great ninja, and—"_

_Naruto had never had his hair ruffled before. Not by anyone._

_"You'll find the answer," Minato said confidently._

_His eyes stared right into Naruto's. Filled with complete trust and pride. How a father looked at his son. Feeling that emotion for the first time was unbeatable. A childish giddiness floated in his stomach._

_"I believe in you."_

Naruto couldn't help but faintly smile at the memory, but it was obscured by his dark room. 

“I can tell when something’s bothering you,” he said softly. “You’re like your mother. You wear your emotion on your face, even if you try and hide it.”

Naruto sniffed. “Just ate something bad, is all.”

He had turned his back to his father by now. If he wanted to discuss his issues, then he would have already said them out loud. Naruto was notorious for being outspoken and always saying what was on his mind. Couldn’t his dad get the hint already?

Minato let out a heavy sigh, and Naruto felt the bed rise at the sudden lack of weight.

“Well, if you need to talk, you know that I’m always here.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Naruto listened to Minato’s retreating footsteps. Even in this life, Naruto had to admit that his father was very wise. Wiser than anybody that he ever met. Advice from his father had never failed him, and Naruto hated to admit that because Minato’s calmer demeanour was an exact juxtaposition with his own. Sometimes the unsolicited advice came with pills that Naruto wasn’t ready to swallow.

Just as Minato reached the door—

“Actually, dad?”

Minato’s retreating footsteps paused.

“Yes?”

Naruto sat up in his bed, twiddling his thumbs. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

Naruto felt himself pause for a moment, trying to think of the right words to say. 

“Well, I’m studying this piece of literature for my degree and I’m trying to analyse it but it’s really philosophical.”

Minato’s tone sounded a lot more cautious now. “You know I meant if you needed to talk about anything _bothering_ you . . . I don’t think I’m a good source for information on your studies—”

“I just need your _opinion._ ”

“Right,” he said awkwardly. 

Naruto heaved a sigh. “Well . . . in the piece, for my degree of course, it’s about two people who knew each other in their past lives,” he explained slowly, glancing towards Minato. “They were really close and had a pretty unbreakable bond. They went through a lot of the same crap that nobody else would understand, and they knew each other better than anyone else. They were like soulmates, y’know. Two halves of the same whole and all that crap.”

“Sounds interesting.”

Naruto appreciated how hard Minato tried to sound engaged with the story.

“And well, they meet in their _next_ life, but only one of them remembers,” Naruto said, running his hands through his hair. “The other one has _no_ idea, so they just see the other person as just everyone else.”

“I see.”

“So, the guy who remembers their past lives is just so confused because he’s wondering if they even share a bond anymore? I mean, it’s like everything that tied them together just _vanished._ ”

Minato seemed to contemplate Naruto’s words for a moment, letting him digest all the information. His eyes were furrowed in deep thought as he rubbed his forehead.

“Was their bond that weak that they only acknowledged each other because of their similarities?”

“Well, it started out that way," Naruto said slowly, “but then they became friends.”

Minato sat back down on Naruto’s bed, whilst Naruto sat up and withdrew into himself, eager for his father’s take.

“The universe obviously wanted to bring them back together, though,” Minato said, “So there must’ve been a reason for it.”

Naruto couldn’t hide the bitterness in his voice. “But what if the universe made a mistake? What if it just forgot to replace that one person’s memories?”

“I don’t think the universe makes mistakes, Naruto.”

“But then why would only _one_ of them remember it?” he questioned. “It doesn’t make sense.”

“Maybe the second person doesn't remember their memories for a reason,” Minato suggested. “Remembering a past life would have a heavy strain, would it not?”

Something ugly bubbled in Naruto’s chest. Dark and bitter like how Kurama's chakra used to be. “But the guy who remembers his past memories struggles too . . . why did he have to have the burden when he didn’t want it? He would have been much happier if he didn’t know anything.”

“But would he have met his soulmate if he didn’t remember his past memories?”

“That’s the problem, though,” Naruto said. “They probably wouldn’t have met without remembering a bond which hadn’t carried onto their current life.” His voice was hard and sullen. “Meaning they’re basically just strangers now.”

“Well, their bond was forged through their hardships, correct? Perhaps the universe thought that they didn’t deserve to suffer in this lifetime.”

Naruto stared at his father, caught off-guard. “What?”

“Well, a bond forged through hardships is a strong one,” Minato explained. “The universe probably didn’t want them to suffer as they did in the past, but the fact that one of them still wants to keep the bond shows that it transcended lifetimes, even if in their current life they haven’t experienced the same things. Though I can't really say _why_ only one of them would remember anything, but doesn’t change what their previous lives went through. And I’m sure deep down the other person is longing for them too, even if they don’t know it.”

_Naruto felt a strained, watery smile forming on his lips. Talking about Sasuke was still a hard subject, especially when it concerned how much he had removed himself from Team Seven._

_(From him.)_

_Sai looked strangely small wrapped in Yamato-sensei's ties, but he stared up at Naruto in complete awe._

_"I'm doing this because Sasuke is my **friend** . . . and that's a bond that can **never** be broken."_

Naruto hadn’t even realised that he was crying until Minato wrapped his arms around him. Tears drenched Minato’s jumper as Naruto lay trembling in his arms. An overwhelming emotion that he had never felt before crashed down onto him; he couldn’t even place the shifting in his chest or the fuzzy feeling in his stomach.

“I didn’t expect you to cry over it,” Minato laughed.

“S’just . . . a really good book, dad,” Naruto sobbed. “Your analysis was awesome.”

“Maybe I should read it,” Minato pondered. 

“The book’s really expensive,” he blubbered. 

“Never mind then," Minato said with a sigh. “What happened to piracy? Utorrent? Does nobody do that anymore?”

“Not for college textbooks, dad.”

* * *

Naruto had fallen asleep shortly after his talk with Minato. It seemed he had fallen asleep in his dad's arms, and Minato had subsequently tucked him into bed.

Embarrassment made his face burn.

What respectable nineteen-year-old cried in their dad’s arms and was subsequently tucked into bed?

Kiba could _never_ find out about this.

Rubbing his eyes, he grabbed his phone that had been discarded onto the floor. It must have fallen off his bed in Naruto’s sleep; he did have a pretty bad habit for tossing and turning in his sleep that had obviously been carried into this life. Hugging pillows and getting hit by Sakura had became his usual sleeping routine at one point.

Light blared in his face as he turned his phone on. The low battery notification screamed at him and Naruto quickly darted to turn his brightness down. Waking up at sporadic intervals in the morning was just another part of being a university student. At the top of his screen the phone displayed the time being four A.M, whilst notifications from his friends filled up his home screen.

**THE BOYZ🥶🥶💯💯 😈😈**

**Choji🍖:  
** Lmfaooo pls look at kiba’s tinder profile😂😂😂 **  
**

**Shino🕷:  
** looooooooooooooooooool **  
**you wrong for sending that choji **💀💀💀**

**Sai🖌:  
💀💀💀💀💀  
**Even Akamaru wouldn't swipe right.

**Choji🍖:**  
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭  
NOT AKAMARUUUUUU

**Kiba🐶:**  
WHAT THE FUCK BRO  
CARRY ON SWIPING  
YOU'VE ONLY GOT TWO MATCHES?

**Sai🖌:  
** Idk Choji  
I mean personally I wouldn't have that.

**Kiba🐶:  
** i know CROP TOP aint talking🙄

Naruto laughed at the conversation but kept scrolling. Another message had caught his eye. He made a mental note to reply and clown on Kiba later. 

He clicked on his imessages and looked at the name looming at the top of his notifications:

**Itachi:  
** [21:23] Did anything happen between you  
and Sasuke?

Naruto mentally groaned. Of course Itachi would message him about this! As much as they seemed to get along, upsetting Sasuke was the number way of getting on Itachi’s bad side. From their petty squabbles they had — because they _were_ Naruto & Sasuke — and their nights without messaging, Itachi always found a way to worm his way into the situation.

As much as Naruto liked the guy, it was a bit overwhelming to know that every time he fucked up, Itachi was watching from the shadows. _It’s not like Sasuke was perfect either._

Still, Itachi was a working man with a professional, high-paying job. Replying at this time wouldn’t come back to bite him until the morning.

**You:  
** [04:11] yeah we sorta had an argument……  
[4:11] dw abt it though

The last thing that he expected was a reply.

**Itachi:  
** [4:13] Yes, I assumed.  
[4:13] He was in a pretty bad mood but  
said that he didn’t want to talk about it.  
[4:14] When he’s like that I can only assume that  
it’s because of you.

 **You:  
** [4:14] idk whether to take that as a compliment  
or not……  
[4:14} and why are you awake anyway?????????

 **Itachi:  
** [4:14] I’m marking papers.

**You:  
** [4:15] at this time??  
[4:15] go to sleep omg

 **Itachi:**  
[4:16] I should be saying the same thing  
to you.

 **You:  
** [4:17] im on a uni sleep schedule man  
[4:18] im probs not going back to sleep until  
like 10  
[4:18] but fr go to bed  
[4:18] sasuke mentioned that u werent sleeping recently

 **Itachi:  
** [4:20] Did he now?

 **You:**  
[4:20] hahah it’s 420 noice  
[4:20] and yh he says he hears u walkin around at night  
like a weirdo

 **Itachi:  
** [4:22] 'Like a weirdo'????

 **You:**  
[4:23] not exactly what he said but he said it  
was strange!!!!!!!

 **Itachi:**  
[4:24] Well I have been finding it harder to sleep  
recently.

 **You:**  
[4:24] why?

 **Itachi:**  
[4:25] I’ve been having dreams about things that happened  
in the past. A lot more than usual, anyway.  
[4:28] If I’m being honest it’s making it harder to face Sasuke  
and my parents.

Naruto bit his lip. His thumb hovered over Itachi’s message. Their conversation usually went easily back and forth, but they had never spoken about the Uchiha Massacre. The topic was a taboo, so Naruto never brought it up, and he was fairly sure that Itachi never mentioned it due to his own mental self-preservation.

**Itachi:**  
[4:32] Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.

 **You:**  
[4:33] dont say sorry  
[4:34] i have nightmares a lot too

[4:37] do u need some company?

**Itachi:  
** [4:37] Company would be nice.

Honestly, Naruto hadn’t expected Itachi to _agree._ Like Sasuke, he thought that Itachi would just like to brood silently until he bottled it up well enough.

Not that Naruto minded, though.

After everything Itachi had done for him, hearing him out or just keeping him company when he was obviously distressed just seemed like the only thing Naruto could do.

**You:  
** [4:38] yh im cool w that ill be over in  
like 20 mins **  
**[4:38] i’ve gotta be outta there by the time  
sasuke wakes up tho

 **Itachi:**  
[4:40] I don’t see him waking up any time soon.  
[4:41] Send me your address. I’ll give you a lift

 **You:  
** [4:42] omg no way i would never ask you  
to do that   
[4:42] thank u but honestly im chill  
[4:42] itll be a nice lil walk ;)

 **Itachi:**  
[4:43] Just give me your address or I will wake up  
Sasuke myself and ask him.

Naruto eventually gave in to Itachi’s demands. The older Uchiha could be quite convincing when he wanted to be. Convincing equating to him threatening to wake up Sasuke and make him even _more_ pissed off at Naruto.

Despite being an inconspicuous person, Itachi’s car was not. Parked outside was an opulent, matte-black Mercedes-Maybach blaring outside Naruto’s driveway with its fluorescent lights. Naruto had to quietly sneak out of the house; he didn’t think his parents would mind (which is what he told himself, even though deep down he knew Kushina would kill him if she caught him sneaking out) but that still didn’t mean he wanted Itachi’s car to wake up the entire road! Naruto didn't want to be in the centre of their nosey neighbour's gossip circle.

_"Did you see Naruto get into a grown man's car last night?"_

_"Oh, yes! It looked very expensive! Do you think that he's an escort?"_

_"Most definitely."_

Naruto rolled his eyes. As preposterous as it sounded, Naruto had heard his fair share of erroneous rumours from them. 

Naruto awkwardly hobbled over to Itachi’s car, carefully not trying to tread onto the back of his shoes. The car door opened with a soft _click_ and Naruto came face to face with Itachi; despite having seen him a lot over the past three weeks, Naruto had never seen him dressed so casually before. Draped in a beige cardigan and a pair of grey joggers, Naruto couldn’t help but be flummoxed. Topping it off were the biggest pair of glasses with transparent rims that he had ever seen. He was so used to seeing him looking astute and dignified in a designer suit that Naruto felt like he would crease just by looking at it.

This outfit was much more _relaxed._

“Is there a problem?” Itachi asked. 

“You just look . . . different.”

Itachi looked down at his attire and pulled on his oversized cardigan. “Oh. These are my comfy clothes.”

“They don’t match your car,” Naruto commented.

“The students at my university love my car,” Itachi said with a shrug, looking behind to make sure no cars were coming his way even though it was nearly five in the morning and _who was really out this early unless you’re a crackhead or us._

Naruto leaned back in Itachi’s leather seat. It was heated. Naruto felt himself relax into the warmth. “How much do professors make anyway? This car couldn’t have been cheap.”

“I can’t really say for _all_ professors, but I make around 200,000 a year,” Itachi said casually.

Naruto choked on his spit. _“Oh my god,”_ he spluttered.

Itachi glanced over to Naruto, “only because of my grants and research, and I _am_ at Cambridge, remember. My past memories help a lot in that way,” Itachi explained. "I’m sure you could do it too. It’s not like I’ve hypothesised _everything_ that I remember.”

“For 200,000 a year, I _will_ spill everything,” Naruto muttered.

Itachi laughed. “I didn’t expect to hear that from a past Hokage.”

“The economy’s changed _drastically!”_ Naruto argued. “All I had to worry about was being strong and diplomacy!”

“Well, that’s what comes with the change of time, I guess. All of our chakra has been filtered out of our bloodlines for centuries since we turned more to electricity, so an individual's physical strength isn't really an asset to politics anymore,” he explained. “And it seems that all your hard work in unifying the villages was pointless, anyway. We're still feuding with countries over the most foolish of things.”

Naruto couldn't help but grumble to himself because Itachi _was_ right. Even though Gaara had unifyed the villages for the Fourth Shinobi War, over the centuries everybody had turned against each other again. War, selfishness and corruption were still focal problems of politics, and Naruto thought that they had stopped all of that years ago.

But people were inherently selfish, Naruto figured. It was only a matter of time. 

“Have you ever tried to do jutsu?” Naruto asked conversationally, trying to lighten the mood. 

Itachi huffed out another laugh. “When I was little.”

“Did it ever work?”

“Of course not.”

Naruto released an aggravated sigh. “I’ve tried too, but it never works. It’s bullshit though cos I’m still an Uzumaki on my mom’s side! I should be _swi_ _mming_ in chakra.”

“Hundreds of years ago, maybe,” Itachi said. “For the Uchihas, it was probably a good thing. There was too much temptation for our clan.”

The rest of the car journey was enveloped in a comfortable silence. They listened to the car radio in the background and Naruto bopped his head to the songs that he knew; it was also interesting to find out that Itachi was into _jazz._

They reached Itachi’s house quickly. It turned out that Itachi had no qualms with speeding down empty roads.

Naruto slammed the car door. “Are your parents gonna be okay with me being here?”

Naruto hadn’t met Sasuke’s parents yet, which he was thankfully grateful for. He hadn’t met them in his past life, either, meaning he didn’t know how to act around them. There were rumours that Mikoto had wanted to adopt him (as he heard from Kakashi-sensei when he was in his mid-twenties), but the village had outright refused her request. Naruto couldn’t have helped but imagine a life where that had been his destiny. Living together with Sasuke since a young age.

It would’ve helped out a lot, actually.

But then the singular dark thought lurked in his mind.

_Would he have been on the receiving end of Itachi’s blade, too?_

“They extended their trip,” Itachi said, locking his car. “They’ll be back on Monday now.”

“Your parents are gone a lot.”

“Well, it’s all part of their job so we can’t really complain. We've never been brought up _needing_ anything in the material-sense; everything has always been provided for us. Sasuke and I are lucky in that regard.”

Naruto caught a glimpse of the underlying shadows clouding Itachi’s eyes. Now that he looked closer, he saw that the lines under his eyes had become more prominent, and his dark circles were a livid purple. Having pale skin just made his under eyes more pronounced.

Naruto followed Itachi into the Uchiha home. There was no doubting what Itachi said. Going by the look and size of the Uchiha household alone you could tell that these people never struggled financially in their life. Compared to when he had first visited after Sasuke had given him the address, Naruto thought that he had gotten lost somewhere. Only when Sasuke shouted at him out of the window after Naruto had downloaded the Google Maps app to street view the house that Sasuke had sent to him did Naruto realise that he hadn't gotten the wrong house. Only the Uchihas were _loaded._

Luckily, he was underwhelmed now due to his frequency of visits.

“Drink?”

“Water, please.”

“Always so adventurous,” Itachi teased.

“I’m a university student! Any time I’m not drinking alcohol I’ve gotta try and get my water in,” he explained. “Otherwise I’ll die of dehydration.”

Itachi hummed, obviously not convinced with Naruto’s train of thought, but he didn’t openly protest against it.

"You've got to get another personality trait other than being a student — what are you going to do in three years?" Itachi asked.

Any immediate comeback Naruto had was completely crossing the line, so Naruto opted for silence. He had been around Kiba, Shino and Choji too much for his own good, apparently. 

Instead of talking, they decided just to sit on the couch and watch a nature documentary that Itachi had been wanting to watch since Netflix released it. Naruto wasn’t particularly opposed. Documentaries weren’t really his thing, but he would watch them when they were on. Minato used to be obsessed with animal documentaries, but he never watched them anymore because Kushina was always bothered when one of the animals died.

Before, Minato had convinced her to watch a lion documentary and Kushina was mourning over one of the gazelles for _days._ She had also dramatically called Minato a monster for enjoying documentaries like that, which led to his father slowly becoming disinterested with them.

What a stupid couple.

“Have you done all of your marking now?” Naruto asked idly.

Drowned in pillows, Itachi was curled up in one of the corners of the couch. Naruto couldn’t help but think how small Itachi looked when he was being swamped by cushions. Nothing compared to the ominous figure standing outside his hotel room with Pervy Sage eons of years ago.

“Most of it,” Itachi replied, “but it’s not being returned to them till after we go back anyway.”

“Why are you so ahead?”

“It’s better that way, isn’t it?”

“I procrastinate.”

Itachi smirked. “You truly were a one-in-a-million candidate for Hokage.”

“I feel like I’m still resting _from_ that, y’know!” Naruto yelled. “You have no idea how much work I actually had to do!”

“I can imagine.”

Naruto let out an aggravated sigh as he let himself sink into the Uchiha’s leather couch. “Being the Hokage was not how I imagined it to be at all,” he admitted. “Granny Tsunade never had to do so much paperwork.”

“Were you acknowledged by the people, though?”

“Yeah,” he replied easily. “Most of them acknowledged me after I defeated Nagato.After the war, they just crowded me.”

Naruto remembered being completely surrounded by fans after the Fourth Shinobi War. Girls squealing at him from outside the classroom, or young ninjas-to-be stopping him at Ichiraku's to get an autograph. It made Naruto empathise with Sasuke a lot more. When he had been younger, it was everything that he wanted. Naruto _wanted_ to have Sasuke's status, but when he finally _obtained_ them, it wasn't like anything that he imagined at all.

It was _annoying._

“That’s probably why becoming the Hokage wasn’t what you thought it would be,” Itachi said. “You had already been acknowledged by the village. That was the main reason you even wanted that title in the first place.”

Naruto pondered Itachi’s words. He never seemed to miss the mark. Vandalising the Hokage monument — _sorry dad_ — and troublemaking had all been thinly-veiled strategies to get the village to notice him. Of course, only now did Naruto realise that it had probably made their attitudes worse towards him in the long run. But what was Naruto supposed to know? He had only been a child.

“You would’ve been a good Hokage,” Naruto admitted.

“You think so?”

“Yeah. You’ve got the mind for one.”

“I don’t know whether that’s a compliment or not.”

Naruto felt himself laugh. He liked the way that he was easily able to talk to Itachi. Just being able to discuss how things _were_ in their past life was clarity enough for him. To convince him that he wasn’t crazy.

Having _Itachi_ be the one who remembered their past lives had actually been a blessing in disguise. The way that he spoke was so _rounded_ and made Naruto’s jumbling thoughts sort themselves out easily.

If Naruto ever had a brother, he hoped that he would’ve been a fraction of who Itachi was.

Sympathy pooled in his gut when he thought about what Itachi had to have gone through, though. Being alone with his thoughts for all of these years. Handling memories like his alone must have not been easy. Not to mention living with his family. In a weird way, Naruto wished that Itachi _didn’t_ remember the past, disregarding the clarity that it gave him.

“Can I ask you something?” Naruto asked.

“Of course.”

“Why do you think that we remember our past lives and nobody else does?" Naruto asked sullenly, "seems a little unfair, don’t you think?”

Naruto didn't miss the way that Itachi stilled at the question. Misty-eyed and guilt-ridden, Itachi’s gaze settled on the coffee counter. A dark demeanour washed over him.

“For me, I think that it’s a punishment.”

“A punishment?” Naruto repeated.

“For what I did to my fellow clansmen.”

Naruto practically jumped out of his seat. “But that wasn’t—”

Itachi held up a hand. “I know that you’re going to say that it wasn’t my fault, Naruto, and that’s very kind of you, but my actions were my own.”

“You were _thirteen!”_ Naruto exclaimed. “Danzo and the Third practically _groomed_ you into doing it!”

“I killed _children_ , Naruto.”

His voice was hardened and cold. There was an emotion that Naruto couldn’t quite describe looming in those eyes of his. Years of built-up guilt and anguish bubbled to the surface as Naruto realised that this had probably been the first time in Itachi’s life that he had openly spoken about it.

Naruto brushed away his uneasiness at Itachi's brutal confession. Now wasn't the time for doubts. 

“If the universe wanted to punish you then it wouldn’t have let you live another life,” Naruto said pointedly. “You would’ve died knowing you didn’t get a second shot, but you _did.”_

“Or it could be retribution of my actions,” Itachi suggested. “The wrath of my fellow clansmen, and living under the same roof as the same parents who I butchered, or the little brother whom I traumatised.”

With every word that Itachi spoke, his words became more harsh. Like he was trying to make his way past the growing lump in his throat.

“Then, what do you think that I’m being punished for?” Naruto questioned.

“I think our scenarios are different.”

“How?”

“Perhaps the universe thought that you deserved a better ending than you received.” 

“Then why isn’t it the same for you?”

Itachi looked caught off guard by Naruto’s response. Funny; now that Naruto had seen that expression, he realised that he had never seen Itachi be that shocked by anything. Even when Naruto shouted at him, saying that he was more of an older brother or that Sasuke was his to handle from the start, he just produced a satisfied smile.

Before Itachi could formulate a reply, the soft patter of footsteps interrupted their conversation. Wrapped in his grey comforter, standing halfway down the staircase, was Sasuke. Naruto internally cringed. Sasuke was, for once, someone Naruto didn’t want to see. He needed to get his emotions in check, first. Getting angry at things that he had no _right_ to get angry about just because Sasuke didn’t remember their past memories was not a constructive way to start any form of relationship — platonic or otherwise — with him. Pinning Sasuke down with expectations that he didn’t even know about was simply unfair.

For someone like Naruto who found it hard to keep his emotions in check, perhaps distance _was_ the best thing for them for a while. And it hurt to admit it. Being without Sasuke simply wasn’t a viable option for Naruto anymore. Craving Sasuke’s presence was just innate at this point.

But Naruto couldn't help but think that if he stayed close to Sasuke, he would simultaneously be pushing him away at the same time. 

“Naruto? What the hell are you doing here?”

Sasuke’s voice was a deep, raspy baritone, still groggy from sleep. Nonetheless, Naruto didn’t like the way that it stirred him up.

Naruto quickly jumped off the couch. “I was just leaving.”

“It’s half five in the morning,” he deadpanned.

“Uni sleep schedule,” he retorted quickly.

“I heard you two talking.”

Naruto flinched at that. He didn’t miss the way that Itachi jumped at Sasuke’s words, too. Dread filled his gut, and looking from Itachi’s reaction he felt the exact same.

“W-what did you hear?”

“Nothing in particular,” he answered, and Naruto felt his body deflate slightly. “But it’s kinda hard to miss your loud voice.”

“I am _not_ loud!” Naruto exclaimed loudly.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Just get up here, _you moron._ ”

“I—”

“Well, I should be going to sleep too,” Itachi said swiftly.

Any sort of protest died on the tip of his tongue. Judging from Itachi’s all-knowing smirk, he had anticipated that Naruto was going to try and run away, and that further enhanced Naruto’s mind to the slight suspicion that getting Naruto to come over was a slight ploy.

(Even though Naruto had been the one to offer, but he still didn’t put it past Itachi.)

Sasuke didn’t look happy.

Actually, he looked crankier than usual.

One thing Naruto had learned about the Sasuke in _this_ life, was that he wasn’t a morning person. In their last life, Sasuke worked like a machine. He didn’t complain when he had to wake up — though most of the time he _did_ wake up on the wrong side of the bed — and he was never late to anything. 

“Sure, I’ll just be a second.”

Naruto nervously fumbled with his surroundings, making a slow act to pick up his phone. On his way up, he didn’t forget to shoot a dirty look at Itachi who looked ever-so-pleased with himself.

Sasuke’s room was dark, but Naruto could make out a few things through the moonlight that was filtering in. Naruto couldn’t laugh at the irony of that. Moonlight and Sasuke. For obvious reasons.

Sasuke practically collapsed onto the bed and rubbed his eyes; his limbs were splayed haphazardly across the sheets and Naruto could barely find a place to sit down. For his own comfort, he decided to crash onto Sasuke’s desk chair.

 _Distance_ , and all that.

“You said that you weren’t trying to fuck my brother,” Sasuke said after a terse moment of silence.

Naruto jolted upright in his chair and nearly choked on his own spit.

_“What are you talking about?”_

“You too are _very_ close,” he said suspiciously.

“Yeah, we get along. And?”

“If you fuck my brother then I _will_ fuck your dad, Naruto,” Sasuke threatened, and going by the tone of voice, there wasn’t a _hint_ of a joke in there at all.

“My dad wouldn’t— _my dad’s not—”_

The smugness in his tone was clear. “Neither were you.” 

“ _I’m_ different to my dad!”

“How?”

“Because I like—”

Naruto quickly cut himself off, but judging by the way Sasuke’s silhouette straightened in the dark, there was no denying that Sasuke _had_ heard it.

Or the start of it, anyway.

Feelings were not something that Sasuke liked to discuss, past or present. Even in their brief relationship ( _acquaintanceship? he didn't know at this point)_ Naruto had walked around eggshells trying to avoid topics of that sort. For Sasuke’s sake.

_(And your own.)_

Naruto let out a heavy sigh. Whether it was from dehydration, or his messed up sleeping schedule, he could feel a headache coming on.

“Listen, Sasuke, I’m really sorry about earlier,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. Apologising to Sasuke still didn’t come to him easily; they were both as adamantly stubborn as the other. In this situation though, Naruto deemed it better to be the one to admit defeat. Until he got his head sorted, and had a few introspective talks with a baked Shikamaru (so he wouldn’t question anything, because Shikamaru was still too damn smart for anyone's own good), he couldn’t be this close to Sasuke. “I don’t know why I was even angry, and I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.”

A few moments of silence passed. An awkward pause followed Naruto’s apology; the shuffling on Sasuke’s bed indicated that he was still awake, but just choosing not to respond.

Fine.

That was very much okay.

Naruto stood up form his seat, running a hand through his hair. Stress clawed away at him. Walking away from Sasuke just seemed _unnatural_ at this point. After everything that they had persevered, something like _this_ was the line Naruto was drawing? Even _he_ knew that he lacked the conviction to walk away from Sasuke. 

All these feelings were something Naruto didn’t know how to _deal_ with.

Constant rejections from Sakura and then swiftly moving onto Hinata after Sakura had told him to do it all came easily to him. Romance had always been so _easy._ Naruto never had to double guess anything because Neji had _died_ for him — _them_ — and Hinata needed someone and he felt responsible so why wouldn’t he? Hinata was nice enough. She was pretty, and she had dark, soft hair which was exactly what Naruto liked—

_Oh my god he needed to leave._

“Listen, Sasuke, I’m just gonna go home,” he quickly said, turning heel towards Sasuke’s door. "Sorry for coming over." 

Adrenaline was his guide. Don’t think, _do._ Overthinking the situation meant that Naruto knew that he would stay and fight to stay in Sasuke’s life, but that wasn’t right. Sasuke needed to decide that for himself. Not some lunatic with unfalsified memories getting angry at random people just because he knew them in a past life. His feet carried them to Sasuke’s door. He felt the cold, wooden floor against his heel and knew that he had made it.

Until something grabbed his arm.

“Earlier I said some things that I didn’t mean to, either.”

It hurt.

It physically pained Naruto because Sasuke was making it _so_ hard to leave.

"I remember that you said earlier that you weren't insecure, but you really don't like me being alone with Itachi and always assume the worst," Naruto said quietly, and he _knew_ that he should shut up. Carrying on the conversation was not good for either of them. "Were you lying?"

"Maybe," Sasuke mumbled. 

Naruto was happy that he confirmed that. Sasuke had been throwing his insecurities right into Naruto's face. Even when he thought that the girls were all over _Naruto,_ he got bratty. Shouting at Naruto and calling _him_ insecure when Sasuke was in the same boat was aggravating.

_(Only because Naruto **was** insecure about losing Sasuke and he had hit the mark.)_

“Then we're both being hot-headed idiots, I guess.”

“More you than me,” Sasuke muttered.

Naruto whipped his head around in protest.

And it was a mistake.

Such a deliberate mistake, because as soon as he saw Sasuke’s face, he felt his conviction crumble.

The moonlight made him look paler than usual. Sasuke had always been beautiful, but this was just unfair. Bathed in the trickling moonlight was his marmoreal skin, framed perfectly under the dark strands of hair that was surprisingly soft. Contrasted against his skin, his eyes looked even darker than usual; Naruto felt like he could drown in them. His eyes always had so much to say, even when his mouth didn’t.

_‘Eyes are windows to the soul’, and for once, Naruto completely understood what that saying meant._

_You idiot. Why would you look at him?_

_But he knew why._

Consternation was as apparent as day on Sasuke’s face. Whilst other people wouldn’t have been able to tell, Naruto did because he knew Sasuke’s little quirks like the back of his hand. His eyebrows were slightly knitted together, and his lips were downturned slightly.

“You don’t have to leave,” Sasuke said quietly. “You could stay. It’s dark out and—”

“I think we both know I need to go, Sasuke,” he said. “Half of the time, all we do is argue over pointless stuff that doesn’t even _apply_ to our situation and—”

“I don’t want you to leave.”

_Neither do I._

Naruto shouldn’t have asked it. He should have continued walking.

“Why?” he croaked.

His mouth was a lot drier than he remembered. He had been filling up on water earlier, but that didn’t do _shit_ for his nerves against Sasuke.

Sasuke’s grip on his wrist adjusted slightly, but he still didn’t let go.

“I . . . enjoy spending time with you.”

What the fuck was this? A pride and prejudice novel?

“Sas—”

“And it’s annoying because I _know_ you’re going back to university soon _anyway,_ so there’s no point in getting attached to you because you’re just another _straight guy_ who’s going to be surrounded by loads of girls and it’s just _frustrating.”_

Naruto blinked owlishly at Sasuke’s outburst.

Out of everything that he had expected, it was not _that._

Naruto couldn’t help the amusement that slipped into his voice. “Sasuke, are you—”

Sasuke released Naruto’s wrist as if he had been burned. “No, I’m not _jealous_ ,” he snapped.

Falling into conversation was so easily between the two of them. They were both too stubborn for their own good, and it didn’t help that both of them were trying to get the last word. Their conversations never ended because both Naruto & Sasuke wouldn’t allow that.

A grin creeped its way onto Naruto’s face. He hadn’t even realised it until he saw the pure mortification on Sasuke’s face.

“Sasuke, do you _like_ me?” Naruto asked with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

“ _You’re_ the one who said it first,” he muttered.

As far as confessions went, Sasuke’s was pretty lame. Not that Naruto could blame him. There was no doubt in his mind that Sasuke had always been on the _receiving_ end of stuff like this. That was how it was back in the academy, and he was still objectively fine as hell. Honestly, Naruto didn’t even _know_ how Sasuke and Sakura had ended up together. He just assumed Sasuke finally gave in (in the nicest way possible). 

One thing that Naruto was certain on was that it wasn't Sasuke doing the confessing. 

“I mean, I don’t remember saying that at all,” Naruto pointed out teasingly. 

And he was technically telling the truth. He had stopped himself halfway through the middle. To save face.

A look of plain frustration made its way onto Sasuke’s features. Naruto felt drunk with power. Seeing Sasuke react so _openly_ like this was a rare occasion. Even in the time they had spent together in the past few weeks, Sasuke had been physically intimate but there was always an element of emotional distance that Naruto couldn’t quite close. Sasuke hated vulnerability. So the fact that he was broadcasting it blatantly right now made Naruto smile like the fool he was (for Sasuke).

Sasuke let out an annoyed huff and turned his heel away from Naruto, heading back to his bed; he was obviously not enjoying the deliberate giddiness coming from Naruto.

“You know what Naruto? Just forget that I said anything,” he snapped, crawling underneath his bed covers. “Just go back home.”

“Aw, c’mon Sasuke!” Naruto whined, following Sasuke’s movements over to his bed. “Don’t be like that.”

“Die slow,” he grumbled.

Naruto couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled past his lips at Sasuke’s sulkiness. Usually, when Sasuke had threatened him with death, it had been a promise that the both of them were going to share. Now, he was just acting juvenilely.

Obscured by the sheets, Naruto could only make out the outline of Sasuke’s figure. Climbing on top of him, it took Naruto a few moments to pin Sasuke down and trapped him by his limbs. Sasuke didn’t bother protesting.

“Hey, Sasuke,” he chided softly.

“What?” Sasuke muttered angrily; his voice was muffled by the sheets.

“I really like you,” Naruto confessed.

Naruto couldn’t help the tenderness in his voice. Getting those heavy words off his chest relaxed something deep within him. Just being in this room tonight, face to face, made Naruto realise that he felt this emotion for Sasuke for so long. Longer than this lifetime. How easy it was just to hold Sasuke intimately should have been terrifying, but Sasuke’s body had moulded perfectly into his hands. Like they were two puzzle pieces always trying to fit together.

In their past life they just didn’t seem to get it right.

Sasuke’s head poked out from underneath his sheets. Even though his cheeks were washed out by the moonlight, Naruto could still see the faint blush dusting them. Relief filled his stomach, pushing away all those pesky butterflies. Naruto realised how ethereal Sasuke was when he started wiping the water that had suddenly appeared on Sasuke's cheeks. _How odd._ Was there a leak in Sasuke's room or something? 

“Why are you crying?” Sasuke’s voice asked.

“I’m not cryi—”

When Naruto reached his hand up to touch his face, he realised that the water droplets on Sasuke’s face were, in fact, coming from him. Hot tears cascaded down from his eyes before Naruto could even stop them. He scrambled from his position on top of Sasuke and landed awkwardly at the bottom of the bed, frantically wiping the tears away.

They wouldn't stop. 

Sasuke sat up in the bed, watching Naruto very closely.

“Do you regret what you said?”

“Not at all,” Naruto’s reply moved more quickly than his brain. There wasn’t a second of hesitation there. Sasuke seemed to understand that.

Slowly, Sasuke moved up to the bed and cusped his hand on Naruto’s damp cheeks. His big, black eyes studied Naruto’s own for a few moments before he moved his position slightly. Sasuke’s arms wrapped around Naruto’s form as he shifted onto his knees; Naruto’s head was resting directly onto Sasuke’s chest as he felt his tears staining Sasuke’s shirt.

Sasuke’s touch was comforting.

“You’re really weird,” Sasuke mumbled into his hair. "You've always been weird since I've met you."

Naruto let out a wet laugh. “I know.”

He liked the way that Sasuke's head lay on top of his own. He enjoyed the closeness. 

“Do you want to stay here for the night?”

Naruto nodded. Hopefully Sasuke’s chest felt his response.

Wordlessly, Sasuke brought Naruto down into his bed. They faced each other, and Sasuke’s gaze studied Naruto’s. He was obviously searching for the reason for Naruto’s spontaneous crying, but not even Naruto could place why he was. The tears just wouldn’t stop.

Naruto brought his hand up to stroke Sasuke’s hair.

“S’uke,” he whispered.

“Hm?”

“Does this mean that we’re. . . _y’know. . ._ ”

“Going out?” he supplied.

Naruto nodded. Speaking was hard.

Sasuke’s fingers threaded through Naruto’s own.

“Do you want to?”

Naruto nodded again. Sasuke responded with tightening his grip on Naruto’s hand.

“Then, I guess that we are,” he mumbled.

Naruto cried harder. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woooooooooooo!! they're finally together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> this is the last chapter dealing with sasuke's emotional constipation lmfao, but the next chapter WILL have a timeskip! 
> 
> but thanks so much for sticking with the story so far guys! hopefully see you all next chap<3


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